Well, April was a busy month, both good and bad.

It was great to see our local celeb, Danny Beard coming second on CBB – personally I think he was head and shoulders above everyone and should absolutely have won this outright.

Danny of course is a staunch supporter of our trans-siblings and used his very first interview, the moment he was through the door, to support them. This of course brings me onto the other big subject from April – the ruling on trans and sex at birth etc.

I’ve been doing a lot of work with trans women over the past two years, helping them overcome the mental challenges they face when using their newly trained, femme voices. Unsurprisingly, many of them have contacted me since the announcement to express their fears.

As a gay, cis-gender male, I won’t pretend for one minute I can truly know how this makes my trans-siblings feel. However, we can all offer our support and stick together as a community. I always like to think back to the 1980s and 90s, when of course AIDS/HIV was ripping through our communities; I lost many friends at the time. Some of our biggest allies were our lesbian sisters, fighting for research and lobbying our MPs. Why? Well, you’ll have to ask them, but I like to think it was down to the sense of community we need to have to survive what the world throws at us. It may be a soundbite, but we are all genuinely, stronger together. It’s good for our sense of self and our mental well-being.

Just as in the same way gay men were blamed for everything wrong in society in the 1980s, our trans community are copping for the vile rhetoric at the moment. Reach out – offer your support – we are all in this together.

Moving onto this month’s Mental Health topics. Mental health is so misunderstood and carries so much stigma. Much of the stigma is due to misunderstanding, or lack of knowledge. One word which is sure to get people worries is ‘Psycho’ or ‘Psychosis’ to give it its proper name.

Just hearing the word can often conjure up frightening images, often fuelled by sensationalised media portrayals. However, the reality of psychosis is often far removed from these dramatic depictions. It’s crucial to understand that psychosis is primarily characterised by a disconnect from reality, affecting how a person thinks, feels, and perceives the world around them. It’s not about inherent danger towards others.

In simple terms, we can think of psychosis in some ways like being very unwell with a high fever. When someone has a severe temperature, they might say things that don’t make sense, become disoriented, or even hallucinate. Their grip on reality is temporarily altered by their physical illness. Similarly, in psychosis, changes in brain function can lead to a temporary detachment from reality. Postpartum psychosis, which can occur after childbirth, is a specific example where hormonal shifts can contribute to this altered state, much like a physical illness impacting mental clarity.

Schizophrenia is perhaps the most well-known term, but psychotic symptoms can also occur in other illness such as bipolar disorder or severe depression. While the symptoms can be distressing, it’s important to remember that these are signs of an underlying health issue that needs understanding and support, not something to be feared.

I think it’s also important to mention the potential link between cannabis and other drug use, particularly high-potency strains and early or heavy use, and the increased risk of developing psychosis in vulnerable individuals. While cannabis doesn’t cause psychosis in everyone, it can trigger or exacerbate psychotic symptoms in those who may have a predisposition to it. This highlights the importance of being aware of the potential risks, especially for younger people, under 25, whose brains are still developing.

Of course, I never, ever make judgement on drug use, and being from the inner city, being gay, and having been around the block many times, know just how much a part of our culture drugs can play. Whether it is trying to block something out from our past, trying to fit in – or just partaking in the odd chem sesh which turns into a deeper habit, drugs are all around us.

There are of course many sources of help out there if you are worried about your own drug use. One which people tell me is particularly helpful is ‘Talk to Frank’, 24/7 on 0300 123 6600. It is not specifically aimed at our community; however you can call in confidence, without judgement, which is of course the most important thing in my book.

I’ll be back with this column in June, in the meantime, if you’d like to get in touch then please contact me at solutions@martinfurber.com

The clocks are springing forward on the last Sunday in March, and while we might grumble about losing an hour of sleep, let’s look at this as a fantastic opportunity to inject some sunshine into our lives – both literally and metaphorically.

Here in the North, we know a thing or two about appreciating a bit of extra daylight. After those long winter months, the longer days and brighter evenings are like a breath of fresh air. And it’s not just in our heads – there’s actual science behind why we feel better when the sun shines.

Our bodies are naturally attuned to the rhythms of the sun. Sunlight triggers the production of vitamin D, which plays a crucial role in regulating mood, boosting the immune system, and promoting bone health. Studies have shown that increased exposure to sunlight can lead to a rise in serotonin levels, the “feel-good” neurotransmitter that helps regulate mood, sleep, and appetite.

So, how can we make the most of this extra daylight and use the clock change as a springboard for improving our mental well-being?

First and foremost, let’s talk about sleep. Yes, we lose an hour, but this is a great time to re-evaluate our sleep habits. Sleep is absolutely vital for our mental and physical health. It allows our bodies to repair and our minds to recharge. Aim for a consistent sleep schedule, even on weekends, and create a relaxing bedtime routine.

Routine, in general, is a great thing for our mental health. Our minds appreciate a bit of structure. With the extra daylight, this is a great time to create a new routine or re-establish a good old one.

The longer days also provide an opportunity to reconnect with nature. Spending time in nature has been shown to reduce stress, improve mood, and boost cognitive function. Even a short walk in a local park can have a positive impact.

And let’s not forget the power of social connection. With lighter evenings, it’s easier to meet up with friends and family. Social connection is essential for our mental well-being. It provides a sense of belonging, support, and connection.

The clock change is a gentle nudge from nature, reminding us to embrace the light, reconnect with ourselves, and prioritize our well-being. Let’s use this opportunity to spring forward into a brighter and happier season. After all, a little bit of sunshine can go a long way. And who knows, you might just find that you’re feeling a little bit brighter, a little bit lighter, and a little bit more ready to tackle whatever comes your way.

April, is ‘Stress Awareness Month’, and let’s face it – those of us who identify under the rainbow flag seem to experience more than our fair share of it as we journey through life, so I thought that is a good subject to talk to you about this month.

We all know that feeling of being stressed – that knot in your stomach, the tension in your shoulders, the racing heart. But have you ever stopped to wonder what’s actually happening inside your body when you feel stressed? It’s not just in your head; stress has a very real and tangible impact on our physical health.

As a solution-focused therapist, I believe in empowering people with knowledge. Understanding the physical connection to stress can help us recognise the signs and take steps to manage it effectively. So, let’s delve into the fascinating world of how stress affects our bodies.

When we experience stress, our bodies activate the “fight or flight” response, an ancient survival mechanism designed to help us cope with danger. This response triggers the release of hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, which prepare us for action.

Imagine you’re walking through a wooded area, and suddenly you see a potential threat. Your body instantly kicks into gear. Your heart rate increases, your breathing becomes rapid, your muscles tense, and your senses sharpen. This is your body’s way of preparing you to either fight or flee.

While this response is helpful in short bursts, chronic stress – the kind we experience in our daily lives – can take a toll on our bodies. When cortisol and adrenaline are constantly elevated, they can disrupt various bodily functions.

Here are some of the ways stress manifests physically:

• Muscle Tension: Stress often leads to muscle tension, particularly in the neck, shoulders, and back. This can result in headaches, aches, and pains.
• Digestive Problems: Stress can affect our digestive system, leading to symptoms like stomach aches, indigestion, and irritable bowel syndrome (IBS).
• Sleep Disturbances: Stress can interfere with our ability to fall asleep or stay asleep, leading to insomnia and fatigue.
• Weakened Immune System: Chronic stress can weaken our immune system, making us more susceptible to illness.
• Cardiovascular Issues: Stress can increase our heart rate and blood pressure, potentially contributing to cardiovascular problems over time.
• Changes in Appetite: Some people experience a loss of appetite when stressed, while others find themselves craving comfort foods.
• Skin Problems: Stress can exacerbate skin conditions like eczema and psoriasis.

It’s important to recognise these physical signs of stress and take steps to manage them. Here are some practical tips for physical stress relief:

• Deep Breathing: Slow, deep breaths can help to calm the nervous system and reduce muscle tension.
• Progressive Muscle Relaxation: This technique involves tensing and releasing different muscle groups in your body, helping to release tension.
• Physical Activity: Exercise is a great way to relieve stress and release endorphins, which have mood-boosting effects. Even a short walk can make a difference.
• Yoga and Tai Chi: These practices combine physical movement with deep breathing and mindfulness, promoting relaxation and stress reduction.
• Massage Therapy: Massage can help to release muscle tension and promote relaxation.
• Warm Baths: A warm bath can soothe tense muscles and promote relaxation.
• Prioritise Sleep: Aim for 7-9 hours of quality sleep each night.
• Healthy Diet: Eating a balanced diet can help to support your body’s ability to cope with stress.

It’s about recognising that our bodies are intricately connected to our minds. By paying attention to the physical signs of stress and taking steps to manage them, we can improve our overall well-being and build resilience. Remember, taking care of your body is an important part of taking care of your mental health.

I’ll be back with this column in May, in the meantime, if you’d like to get in touch then please contact me at solutions@martinfurber.com

I first joined Liverpool Frontrunners in October 2023 with the basic goal of getting into running to improve my fitness. The thought of running alone on those pitch-black autumn evenings as a queer woman was terrifying, so Liverpool Frontrunners was the perfect solution. Now, if you had told me that after about a year I would be signing myself up for the Liverpool Half Marathon, I would’ve laughed at the thought. I could barely breathe, let alone hold a conversation whilst running, so signing up for races was the last thing on my mind. But here I am, having just completed my first half marathon alongside my fellow Frontrunners, raising money together for the incredible charity that is Sahir.

For those of you that might never have heard of us before, Liverpool Frontrunners is an LGBTQ+ inclusive running group that meets up at Sefton Park every Wednesday, light or dark, rain or shine, ready to run. The club welcomes runners of all abilities, whether you’ve completed countless marathons, enjoy a casual jog, or it’s your first time giving running a chance. We operate three loops each week, facilitated by our lovely run leaders who are there to guide you every step of the way. All LGBTQ+ people and allies are welcome to participate, running whichever combination of our loops works best, whether that’s just loop 1, the 1st and 3rd, or all three! Many of our members’ favorite section of the night is the cool, crisp pint/soft drink on Lark Lane once all the running is done.

Additionally, many Frontrunners regularly participate in Parkrun on a Saturday morning, a free 5km run that occurs in over 2,000 locations globally. We tend to meet up for a freshly brewed coffee, a Full English, and a lot of yapping following Parkrun. We’re an ever-growing community that welcomes new faces, celebrates the progress of our members, and is here for a good time.

Liverpool Frontrunners was established in 2015, making this year our 10-year anniversary (cheers to that!) The absence of LGBTQ+ sporting groups at the time presented the perfect opportunity for Liverpool Frontrunners to be born. There are many barriers that LGBTQ+ people face when trying to get involved in sport, including underrepresentation of queer people, a lack of safe, accessible options, and being deterred from participating since childhood. The aim of the club is to overcome these barriers, increase LGBTQ+ visibility, promote physical and mental well-being amongst the community, and allow queer people to embrace their whole identities to live as their most authentic selves.

We are proud to serve our local LGBTQ+ communities, providing a safe space away from homophobia, biphobia, and transphobia. Liverpool Frontrunners is home to over 300 members and is proud to be one of over 120 LGBTQ+ running clubs that make up International Frontrunners, a global network that began in San Francisco in 1974.

Although we are primarily a running club, our Social Secretaries organize a variety of social events to allow us to make true connections with one another and build friendships to last a lifetime. From go-karting to scenic hikes to trips abroad, we’ve got a bit of something for everyone. Here’s what our members have to say in response to the question: ‘What do you love most about Frontrunners?’

“The beautiful friendships I’ve gained and the memories I’ve made.”
“I feel just as comfortable going out for a run as I do going out for a drink, it’s a fab group of people.”
“The support and drive from your Frontrunners to be the best runner you can be.”

Since joining Liverpool Frontrunners, I personally feel like I’ve come a long way compared to where I was when I first started (and not only in kilometers run!) In terms of my fitness level, I don’t think I’ve ever been as healthy as I am today, and I wouldn’t have had the resilience to keep running if it wasn’t for this gorgeous community. In terms of my confidence, the support I’ve found at this club has driven me to join the Committee and become a Run Leader – despite consistently taking wrong turns when left to my own instincts. In terms of embracing my queerness, I will never be able to thank Frontrunners enough for the beautiful friendships I’ve made and the opportunity to meet so many diverse, open-minded LGBTQ+ people. As a queer woman, it can feel almost impossible to find other queer women to connect with, and so being part of a club that welcomes and embraces LGBTQ+ women and non-binary people is a dream come true.

So, what did Liverpool Frontrunners do to celebrate this wonderful community and honor our 10-year anniversary? As I teased at the beginning, Liverpool Frontrunners partnered up with Sahir to fundraise for this amazing charity in the lead-up to the Liverpool Half Marathon. For many Frontrunners (myself included), this was their first half marathon, and what better way to burst onto the race scene than by raising money for an excellent cause?

Sahir is the Liverpool City Region’s largest and oldest LGBTQ+ charity, which has supported and empowered LGBTQ+ communities and people living with/affected by HIV since 1985. Much like Liverpool Frontrunners, Sahir is celebrating an important milestone this year as they reach their 40-year anniversary! By providing services such as counseling, HIV support, sexual health services, and support groups, they have helped transform lives and improve local communities for four decades.

We hoped that through this fundraiser, we could contribute to the vital work that Sahir undertakes day-in, day-out, to see a brighter, healthier future, and give back to an organization that has done so much for us already. Thanks to our generous donors, we have already increased our target twice after smashing our original goals and have raised over £1500 to date. If you are able, please click here to donate today, where 100% of the money raised will go directly to Sahir.

Sahir has a plethora of exciting events around the corner, including their Eurovision All Stars night at OMG on Friday 16th May, as well as their second annual Drag and Drop event, a charity abseil down Liverpool’s Anglican Cathedral on Saturday 19th July. They also have the Pound for Sahir appeal, whereby donating just £1 a month, you can contribute to the facilitation of the vital services that Sahir delivers to those who need it most. If you’re interested in finding out more and supporting a great cause, please check out their website by clicking here.

Sahir isn’t the only one with a busy schedule for this year – us lot at Liverpool Frontrunners have plenty in store from races to kit drops to sunny socials, our 2025/26 Committee is going to be busy indeed! If you’d like to find out more about our club, please visit our Instagram page by clicking here, and we hope to see you at a Wednesday run or Parkrun soon!

Love from,
Poppy (She/Her) x

 

This International Women’s Day (Friday, 8th March), Sahir is proud to celebrate all the women who play a vital role in our work – supporting the LGBTQ+ community and people living with HIV.

For 40 years, Sahir has been a lifeline for communities facing stigma, discrimination, and isolation. We recognise that gender-based inequality doesn’t affect everyone in the same way – and we remain committed to uplifting and supporting those most at risk.

We celebrate all women, including trans women, disabled women, women of colour, working-class women, and women living with HIV. We also recognise that non-binary, gender-diverse, and intersex people experience many of the same barriers and deserve support, inclusion, and respect.

Today, we highlight the incredible people leading this work and reflect on our ongoing commitment to inclusion and empowerment.

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On the frontline of Sahir’s Work

Sahir’s services are led by dedicated individuals who provide essential support, advocacy, and community engagement:

• Gill – LGBTQ+ Services & Operations Manager (she/her)
  Gill leads our LGBTQ+ support programmes, ensuring that Sahir continues to be a safe and inclusive space for everyone who needs us.

• Kellie – HIV Services Manager (she/her)
  Kellie oversees our HIV support services, providing practical and emotional support to people living with HIV and working to reduce stigma.

• Shereen – LGBTQ+ People Seeking Asylum & Refugee Lead (she/her)
  LGBTQ+ asylum seekers – particularly women and gender-diverse people – face multiple barriers to safety and support. Shereen ensures they receive advocacy, guidance, and access to essential services.

• Rachael – Wirral HIV Support Worker (she/her)
  Based in Wirral, Rachael provides specialist one-to-one support for people living with HIV, helping them navigate services and maintain their well-being.

• Ange – HIV Support Worker (she/her)
  Ange is dedicated to supporting people affected by HIV, offering guidance, advocacy, and a listening ear to those who need it most.

• Kat – LGBTQ+ Community Engagement Worker (they/she)
  Kat works across Liverpool City Region to engage and connect LGBTQ+ people, ensuring they feel heard, valued, and supported.

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A Long History of Inclusion & Support

At Sahir, we have always championed inclusion, diversity, and equality. Over the years, we have:

✅ Provided lifesaving HIV support services for women, trans people, and gender-diverse communities.
✅ Created safe spaces for LGBTQ+ women, non-binary, and intersex people to access peer support and community.
✅ Supported LGBTQ+ people seeking asylum, many of whom face additional barriers due to gender, race, and immigration status.
✅ Delivered education and advocacy to challenge HIV stigma, transphobia, and misinformation.

Our work is built on the belief that everyone deserves dignity, respect, and support – regardless of gender identity, sexuality, or background.

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How You Can Get Involved

This International Women’s Day, we invite you to:

💜 Learn more about the experiences of LGBTQ+ women, trans women, non-binary people, and those affected by HIV.
💜 Engage with our services – whether you need support or want to volunteer.
💜 Help us challenge stigma by sharing information and raising awareness.

At Sahir, inclusion is more than a word – it’s at the heart of everything we do. Today and every day, we remain committed to supporting, uplifting, and standing alongside all those who need us.

💜 For more information about our work, visit sahir.org.uk.

Can you tell us a bit about yourself and what brought you to where you are today?

Leaving my homeland was not a choice I made lightly; it was a matter of survival. As a bisexual man, I was outed in my community, leading to persecution and fear for my life. I knew I had to leave my country to seek safety, which took me through multiple countries until I eventually arrived in the United Kingdom on a small boat crossing.

Once in the UK, I sought a safe space where I could connect with the LGBTQ+ community. That’s when I discovered Sahir, an organisation dedicated to supporting LGBTQ+ asylum seekers. It became a crucial part of my journey, helping me navigate trauma, build confidence, and find a sense of belonging. Thanks to their support, I was granted refugee status on 11th September 2024. With this newfound stability, I secured a job as a production operative and now look forward to advancing my career in healthcare and mental health nursing.

How did you first hear about Sahir, and what led you to connect with us?

I first heard about Sahir through a friend who was living in the same Home Office accommodation as me. At the time, he didn’t know about my sexual orientation but recommended Sahir for asylum support. When I first arrived, I was hesitant to open up about my identity and experiences. However, with time and trust, I was able to share my story and fully embrace my identity as a bisexual man.

In what ways has Sahir supported you, and what difference has that made in your life?

Sahir has been a lifeline for me. Through their support, I gained the confidence to speak about my sexual orientation, even with my GP—something I once found incredibly difficult. Meeting others from my community through peer support groups made me realise that I was not alone.

Beyond emotional support, Sahir also helped me tackle mental health challenges. I struggled with chronic alcoholism as a way of coping with trauma, but with the counselling and mental health support provided by Sahir, I was able to begin my recovery. Sahir became like a family to me—I no longer felt isolated.

Participating in activities such as yoga, English classes, and outdoor events gave me structure and purpose. Most importantly, Sahir guided me through the asylum process, which ultimately led to me being granted refugee status.

Where are you now on your journey, and what are you most proud of?

Today, I finally feel safe. I no longer live in fear of deportation or persecution. I am focused on building a career and giving back to the society that has welcomed me. I am incredibly proud of my confidence and my progress in overcoming depression. Recovery is a journey, but I am moving forward.

One of the things I am most proud of is being able to introduce others to Sahir. I know firsthand how life-changing their support can be, and I want to ensure that others in similar situations have access to the same help and community that I did.

What are your hopes for the future, and how can we continue to support you on your path?

Sahir has been, and continues to be, my family. I hope to always have access to their support when I face challenges that feel too big to handle alone. My dream is to become a mental health nurse, and I am currently receiving CBT therapy to help me along this path. With the right support and determination, I believe I can make a real difference in the lives of others who have faced similar struggles.

Why is LGBT+ History Month important to you?

LGBTQ+ History Month holds deep significance for me. It serves as a reminder of who I am, where I come from, and what I have been through. It acknowledges the struggles and victories of those who came before us while also highlighting the ongoing fight for equality and acceptance.

For me personally, it represents my journey—from the trauma of being outed and persecuted to the freedom of expressing myself openly in the United Kingdom. It also signifies my ability to support others, ensuring they too find the safety and belonging that I was fortunate enough to receive.

My journey has not been easy, but with the support of Sahir, I have found hope, strength, and a new sense of purpose. I am excited for what the future holds and grateful for the chance to build a life where I can truly be myself.

For anyone who may be in a similar position, know that you are not alone. There is support out there, and there is always hope.

At Sahir, we are privileged to work with incredible individuals whose journeys inspire and remind us of the importance of support, acceptance, and advocacy. In honor of LGBT+ History Month, we spoke with Arthur Britney Joestar about their experiences and the impact Sahir has had on their life. Here’s their story in their own words.

Can you tell us a bit about yourself and what brought you to where you are today?

Hi, I’m Arthur Britney Joestar – 33 years old, non-binary. I’m an anime and Nintendo lover. My journey has been shaped by many experiences, including my time as a service user, volunteer, and project partner with Sahir. Over the past eight years, this connection has been instrumental in shaping my path.

How did you first hear about Sahir, and what led you to connect with us?

I was first referred to Sahir when I was seeking asylum. The staff at Birley Court directed me to Sahir, and that connection became a turning point in my life.

In what ways has Sahir supported you, and what difference has that made in your life?

Sahir has had a profound impact on my life, and I will always be grateful for that. They helped me access HIV treatment after my diagnosis, provided crucial support through the challenging asylum process, and connected me with legal aid. Having a dedicated support worker made a world of difference, ensuring I wasn’t navigating this hostile process alone.

Beyond practical support, Sahir played a crucial role in my mental well-being. Their counseling services helped me manage the emotional toll of my experiences, and their safe space allowed me to explore and embrace my gender identity. The acceptance and support I found through Sahir changed my life for the better.

Where are you now on your journey, and what are you most proud of?

I believe that our journey only ends with our last breath. Life is about continuous growth, and while I may not know exactly where I am, I do know that I am happy. I am proud of the person I have become, the strength I have found within myself, and the direction my life is taking.

What are your hopes for the future, and how can we continue to support you on your path?

Right now, I am in a stable and fulfilling place, working hard to make my dreams come true. Sahir has been, and always will be, a part of my life, and I am grateful for the unwavering support I have received.

Why is LGBT+ History Month important to you?

LGBT+ History Month is a time to reflect on our past, acknowledge our struggles, and celebrate our victories. It’s essential to know where we have come from so that we can continue the fight for our rights and ensure that we never lose the progress we have made.

 

Arthur Britney Joestar’s story is a testament to resilience, self-discovery, and the power of community. As we celebrate LGBT+ History Month, let’s continue to support and uplift one another, ensuring that every individual has access to the resources and acceptance they deserve.

If you or someone you know could benefit from Sahir’s support, please don’t hesitate to reach out. Together, we can build a future where everyone is free to live as their authentic selves.

Remembering The Vivienne, Celebrating History, and Facing Uncertainty

The tragic passing of Jame Lee Williams, aka The Vivienne last month, sent shockwaves through our LGBTQ+ community in Liverpool and beyond. Their vibrant personality and groundbreaking success as the first UK winner of RuPaul’s Drag Race UK brought joy and visibility to many. Whilst the support James gave to Sahir House will always be remembered, it’s crucial to remember the ongoing challenges faced by LGBTQ+ individuals in our city and beyond.

LGBTQ+ History Month & Sahir House:

This February, we celebrate LGBTQ+ History Month, a time to reflect on the struggles and triumphs of our community. It’s a reminder of the countless individuals who fought for our rights and paved the way for generations to come.

As you are no doubt aware, Sahir House plays a vital role in supporting our LGBTQ+ community in Liverpool. We provide a safe and inclusive space for individuals to access mental health services, find support, and connect with others. Perhaps given the current political climate in the USA, with the rise of transphobic legislation under the Trump administration, many of us have good reason to be worried.

Recent events in the USA are causing deep anxiety within the LGBTQ+ community here in the UK. We are witnessing a dangerous erosion of rights and a surge in hate crimes against transgender individuals. This has a profound impact on our collective mental health. Many of us are experiencing heightened fear, anger, and a sense of hopelessness. We may feel powerless to stop the tide of transphobia and worry about the potential impact on our own lives and the lives of our loved ones. For many older members of our community, historical memories of the discrimination and hatred we faced in the past, may come flooding back.

Finding Hope and Resilience:

It’s crucial that we remember our strength and resilience as a community. We have faced adversity before and overcome significant challenges. We must continue to support each other, stand in solidarity with our trans-siblings, and fight for a more just and equitable world.

Onto other matters this month – We’ve got Valentines Day! Love it or hate it, I thought as a therapist it would be good to explain what happens in our bodies when we fall in love, and why we can seem to lose the plot!

Attraction, the initial spark that draws us to someone, is largely driven by our primal instincts. Irrespective of sexuality or gender, our brains are constantly scanning the environment for potential partners. This process is largely unconscious, guided by ancient programming.

When we meet someone we find attractive, our brains release a cocktail of chemicals. Pheromones, subtle chemical signals, play a role in this initial attraction, though their influence on humans is still being researched. We also get dopamine surges, creating feelings of pleasure, excitement, and motivation. This is the same chemical released when we experience other rewarding activities, like eating delicious food or achieving a goal. It’s what makes us feel good when we’re around the person we’re attracted to, driving us to seek their company.

There are other chemicals at play too which increase our heart rate, trigger sweating, and create that “butterflies in the stomach” feeling. This is also why we get that heightened sense of alertness and focus we experience when we’re with someone we find attractive. This combination of dopamine and norepinephrine creates a state of intense focus and excitement, which can be incredibly exhilarating.

As attraction deepens and moves towards what we call “romantic love,” other chemicals come into play. This is what contributes to that “can’t eat, can’t sleep” feeling often associated with new love.

But perhaps the most crucial hormone in the bonding process is oxytocin, often referred to as the “love hormone”. Oxytocin is released during physical contact, such as hugging, kissing, and intimacy. It promotes feelings of trust, attachment, and closeness, strengthening the bond between partners. This is why physical touch is so important in romantic relationships; it reinforces those feelings of connection and intimacy.

All well and good so far you may think. However, this intoxicating cocktail of chemicals can also have some less desirable side effects.

When we’re in the throes of new love, our brains can become a bit foggy. The part of the brain responsible for rational thought and judgment, can be temporarily suppressed. This explains why people in love can sometimes make impulsive decisions or overlook red flags. We become so focused on the positive aspects of the relationship that we may struggle to see things objectively.

So if you are familiar with the type of person who falls in love every other week, and tends to take leave of their sense when they do, then this should go some way to explain things.

We can get quite hooked on those intense feelings we get in those first few months of a relationship – hence the idea that we can love being in love!

If there is a particular topic you’d like me to write about then please get in touch. Feel free to send me an email with SAHIR HOUSE in the subject line to solutions@martinfurber.com

If you would like to know more about the treatments I offer then please check out my website  https://www.martinfurber.com

Or find me on social media

LinkedIn:   https://www.linkedin.com/in/martin-furber/

Facebook: Martin Furber Therapist

Can you tell us a bit about yourself and what brought you to where you are today? 

My name is Scarlett Rose, I am a Trans Woman based in Liverpool with my Husband. I am an artist, writer, poet, public speaker and Trans and Queer Activist. My journey as a Trans woman has been a short one, in terms of when I started my transition, but realistically my exploration of oneself and my path to finding my truth has been a lifelong set of discoveries. I have always been a creative and passionate soul, always bouncing between creative projects, and I always struggled to find my tribe. Even living as (to the outside world) a gay man, friendship groups were always something that seemed so fleeting. Now that I am an out and proud Trans woman, and living in Liverpool, I have been able to find connections with a beautiful community and use my voice to help the community that has helped me so much.

How did you first hear about Sahir, and what led you to connect with us? 

I remember communicating with other Trans people, in a few Facebook groups, ones focused in Liverpool. Sahir house was one of the services that were brought to my attention, and upon my discovery of my Transness I was very eager to get my journey started and contacted Sahir without hesitation. I vaguely recall emailing and then being called by Kath while I was nervously browsing the NYX makeup counter in boots. I had a phone call with Kat as well and they were both so kind and sweet, and I felt a little overwhelmed by their kindness as kindness is something that I have not received a lot of in my life. They both made me feel so safe, and seen, even from those first phone calls. We talked about my self-discovery and what Sahir could offer me in terms of support, and this is where my relationship with Sahir began to bloom.

 In what ways has Sahir supported you, and what difference has that made in your life? 

Sahir have been there from the very beginning of my transition, even just before I started hormones. I went to my first couple of Gender Proud meetings presenting as male, and I was so nervous. I can still remember the nausea, and the uncontrollable shaking. This was where I met Kat for the first time, and I can honestly say that she has been one of the key people in helping me through out my transition. She may claim to have not done much but I don’t quite think she knows how much joy, self-love, and confidence she has instilled in me from her kindness and her support. She has always been there to talk to me, give me advice, and she is one of the kindest and most authentic human beings I have ever met. She has seen me at my lowest and my highest and never once has she turned away from me. Sahir house is full of wonderful people, and it’s people like Kat, Kath, John and Jared (these are the lovelies I have interacted with most), that I can confidently say I wouldn’t be the woman I am today. I am tearing up typing this, because I think of all the times Sahir house have supported me, encouraged me, and urged me to thrive. They even offered me counselling when I felt I had no one to turn to. Counselling which to be completely honest. Had a hand in saving my life when I was at my lowest.

Not only have they supported me as a Trans person, but they have also supported me as a creative and an advocate. Gracing me with opportunities to speak my truth and perform my poetry at some of their events. Every opportunity they offer me like that, truly is an honour. I will be forever grateful to Sahir House and intend/hope that Sahir and the wonderful people who work there, will be a constant part of my life and my journey.

Where are you now on your journey, and what are you most proud of? 

I am only just over a year and half into my transition, and while it still feels like I am very much at the beginning of my journey, a lot has happened/changed. Aside from the physical changes that have been so wonderfully affirming for me, as well as finally allowing myself to feel at home and connected in my body, the mental changes have probably been the most significant.

I think more clearly, I speak more confidently and carry myself in a way that states to the world, I belong. It’s through this constant change of self-awareness and growing confidence that I have been able to build myself up as an activist and advocate within my community. Pre Transition Scarlett would not have been able to do what I am doing now, and that is cultivating a loving community for myself, and being able to know my own voice, and use that voice for positive change. I am speaking more at events, giving speeches, reciting poetry and now I am doing something that allows me to effect positive change for a community so full of love, that I will never be in short supply of spiritual fulfilment, having a purpose as a human being and transperson, and feeling like I belong. What I am building, and what I will be able to do for my community. That is what I am most proud of.

 What are your hopes for the future, and how can we continue to support you on your path?

What my hopes are for the future, are basically a super-sized version of what I am beginning to do now. Advocacy for my community alongside my creativity, is what I want to do with my life. I am just starting to do that now in a real way, and I am hoping that will continue on an upward trajectory.

In terms of what Sahir can do to support me on my journey, is exactly what they are doing now and have been doing for many many years for our community. They have been such a lifeline for me, not just as a Trans person but also as a human being. I can say with absolute confidence and speaking from personal experience, that what they do is lifesaving.

 Why is LGBTQ+ History Month important to you?

LGBTQ+ History month is so important to me, as it raises awareness for our community and through exploring our history we can remember and respect the people who fought for us, and to show people that we have always been here. We are a natural and beautiful part of humanity and that is something to be celebrated. By learning about our history, we are reminded that we have fought and won before, and in today’s current political climate, even in spite of the level of volatility and vitriolic hate we are subjected too, we can fight, and we can overcome. Our history reminds us of our strength as a community and how we can and should come together to lift each other up and help each other thrive. Our history is important because it also shows us that what rights we do have right now, were hard fought for by our community, and why we as a collective need to stand up and fight even harder. Those who came before us did it, often at great cost to themselves, and that is one of the many reasons why we should do the same today.

Follow Scarlett on Instagram @HRHScarlettRose

LGBTQ+ History Month – a dedicated time to reflect, remember, and celebrate the real lives of LGBTQ+ people past and present.

It’s about honouring the struggles and successes of our global community in the fight for acceptance, equality, and the right to be ourselves.

Here in Liverpool and the Liverpool City Region, we’re surrounded by incredible stories of resilience, courage, and pride. At Sahir, we’re proud to stand with our community – recognising those who’ve fought for change, those still fighting, and those simply trying to live their truth in a world that doesn’t always make it easy.

Click on the following images to read their stories:

#LGBTQHistoryMonth #RealPeopleRealStories #SahirHouse #PrideInMerseyside #StrongerTogether

When Did Meta Start Taking Tips from James Bond Villains?

You know the type—sitting in their lairs, pulling levers that disrupt the world while insisting it’s all for the greater good. That’s how Meta’s recent rollback of its diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) policies feels. Except this time, it’s not some fictional doomsday device in play. It’s the livelihoods, safety, and dignity of real people—especially women and LGBTQ+ communities—being quietly sidelined.

I grew up in an Irish Catholic family where the women were nothing short of heroes. My mum, aunties, and gran balanced full-time jobs in the NHS and education with full-time jobs at home, running households, raising kids, and holding everything together. They showed me what resilience looks like: real, salt-of-the-earth strength that kept the world turning, often without thanks or recognition.

But as a closeted gay man in that world, life was hard. I spent years hiding who I was, and by the time I entered the professional world, that fear had taken root. I’ve faced workplace homophobia—sometimes blatant, sometimes cloaked as “banter.” It chipped away at my confidence and left me questioning where, or even if, I belonged. More than once, I turned down opportunities—not because I lacked ambition or ability, but because I was too exhausted from trying to fit in where I wasn’t welcome.

That’s why DEI policies aren’t just “nice to have.” They’re lifelines. They allow people to show up as their true selves, free from fear of exclusion or hostility. And when a company as powerful as Meta steps back from those commitments, it sends a chilling message: inclusion is optional. But here’s the truth—it isn’t. It’s essential.

Why Meta’s Actions Matter

Meta’s recent policy shifts are more than an internal decision—they set the tone for countless others. This isn’t just about metrics or corporate image; it’s about lives. DEI policies create fairness, belonging, and visibility. They empower people to thrive in environments where they feel safe and valued. Rolling them back tells vulnerable communities that their progress can be ripped away on a whim.

I’ve seen the transformative power of inclusion when done right. It’s not about handouts or box-ticking. It’s about giving people what they need to succeed. And when companies like Meta undermine that, the ripple effects are immense.

As someone who leads a charity supporting women and LGBTQ+ people, this hits especially hard. We rely on platforms like Meta’s to connect with the people we serve. For many, these platforms are lifelines—a place to find support, advocacy, and community. When these companies deprioritize inclusion, it’s not just disappointing—it’s dangerous.

What Comes Next?

We’ll keep using these platforms for now because the need is too great. But that doesn’t mean staying silent. We’ll continue speaking up, calling it out, and demanding better.

Meta may have pulled a lever, but it’s up to us to make sure it doesn’t disrupt the progress we’ve fought so hard to achieve. If you care about fairness, belonging, and visibility, now’s the time to act. Support organizations that fight for inclusion. Hold companies accountable for their decisions. And above all, remember this: inclusion isn’t optional—it’s essential.

On Sunday 12th January, Liverpool came together in the most beautiful way to celebrate and remember our beloved James Lee Williams, known to the world as The Vivienne. Organised by Sahir, the vigil was filled with love, laughter, and the kind of joy that James always brought into every room. It was a night that showed just how much he meant to all of us.

A City Wrapped in Love

Liverpool City Council made it possible for us to gather at St George’s Plateau, the perfect place to share our memories, shed a few tears, and smile at the incredible life James lived. As night fell, the city turned green in his honour—St George’s Hall, the Liverpool Empire Theatre, Everyman Theatre, and Liverpool One all lighting up in tribute to his unforgettable turn as the Wicked Witch in The Wizard of Oz – the perfect backdrop for us to come together under.

James’ face shone across the city too, thanks to Open Media, Liverpool One, and the Royal Court Theatre, who donated digital screen space to make sure his presence was felt everywhere.

We’d like to express so much gratitude to Morecrofts Solicitors, Dutton Gregory Solicitors, and The Guide Liverpool, whose support helped us bring this special night together.

Stories, Laughter, and Love

The heart of the vigil was in the stories shared by those who knew James best.

• His best friend, Bobby Musker, spoke straight from the heart, bringing both laughter and tears as he shared stories of their years together.
• John Hyland, from Sahir, reminded us of James’ dedication to LGBTQ+ advocacy and the impact he had on the community, particularly through the video content they created together over the years.
• Danny Beard, winner of Drag Race UK Season 4, spoke with warmth about their deep friendship and the fearless performer James was.
• Tiara Fletcher and Steven Hulme, both close friends, painted a picture of James that we all knew and loved—kind, generous, and always ready with a joke – not to mention forcing the BBC to pop a ‘contains strong language’ warning on their livestream of the event!
• Broadcaster Pete Price spoke with admiration for James’ contributions, not just to the LGBTQ+ community but to the entertainment world as a whole.
• Simon Jones, James’ manager and friend, shared memories of his incredible journey in entertainment and the legacy he leaves behind.
• The most touching moment came when James’ niece, Isabella, stood beside Bobby to read a message from James’ family, a powerful reminder of the personal loss behind our public tribute.

A Legacy That Lives On

James was more than a performer—he was a friend, a trailblazer, and a force of nature. His impact on the LGBTQ+ community, on the entertainment industry, and on each of us lucky enough to have known him will never fade.

From the bottom of our hearts, thank you to everyone who came, who contributed, and who helped us send James off in true Liverpool style. The city showed up for him, just like he always showed up for us.

Rest easy, James. We’ll keep your light shining.

An icon of drag, a beautiful human and a pillar of strength to Sahir House. How can any of us not be affected by the recent passing of The Vivienne.

For many, the whole situation feels surreal, and many of our conversations are around shock, disbelief and of course great sadness. For so many of us the loss feels particularly personal, especially of course around Sahir House and Liverpool. Of course, all of these reactions are a testament to the massive impact The Vivienne had, not just throughout our community, but throughout the UK and beyond.

It’s impossible for us to lose someone held so dear, and not be affected, on many levels.

If you’re struggling at the moment, you may find it helpful to focus on what we can do, even in the face of such loss. While we can’t change what has happened, we can choose how we respond and how we support ourselves and each other.

It’s okay to grieve. Grief is a natural human emotion, and it can manifest in many different ways. There’s no right or wrong way to feel. Some people may experience sadness, anger, confusion, or even disbelief. Allow yourself to feel whatever emotions arise without judgment.

The Vivienne brought joy, laughter, and representation to so many. Their performances and advocacy made a real difference. Focusing on the positive contributions they made can be a helpful way to honour their memory. Think about the moments they made you smile, the times they inspired you, or the messages they shared that resonated with you.

Sharing your feelings with others who understand can be incredibly helpful at times like this. Talk to friends, family, or support groups. Sahir House is here for you, offering a safe and supportive space to connect with others who may be experiencing similar feelings. Don’t hesitate to reach out to us for support.

In solution-focused therapy, we focus on what’s already working well in your life. What strengths and resources have helped you cope with difficult times in the past? How can you draw on those strengths now? Perhaps it’s your resilience, your ability to connect with others, or even your sense of humour.

During times of grief, it’s essential to prioritise self-care. Make sure you’re getting enough rest, eating nutritious food, and engaging in activities that bring you joy and help you relax. This might include spending time in nature, listening to music, or pursuing a hobby.

Remember, grief is a process, and it takes time. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself the space to heal. By focusing on our strengths, connecting with others, and remembering the positive impact The Vivienne had, we can navigate this difficult time together. Sahir House is here to offer support, so please don’t hesitate to reach out if you need someone to talk to.

Love, peace & healing,

Martin