Happy New Year!

I hope last month was everything you wanted it to be, and you are looking forward to  the year ahead.

I tend to avoid talking about resolutions in January, let’s face it, we make them and break them year after year; and if you keep on doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep on getting what you always got. It is a good time though to think about out with the old and in with the new. As the festive season begins to fade away into our memory bank, and we get used to writing ’25 instead of ’24, it’s a natural time to reflect on many things, including perhaps our relationships. While the past few weeks may have brought joy and togetherness, it can also highlight areas where connections may need tending or even letting go.

As humans, we are inherently social creatures. Strong, supportive relationships are essential for our mental and emotional well-being, it’s something I stress frequently in this column. They provide us with a sense of belonging, purpose, and love. When we feel connected to others, we’re more likely to experience positive emotions, cope with stress, and thrive; it’s the way we have evolved.

As we embrace the new year, it can be a good time to nurture those relationships that we value. Take the time to reach out to loved ones, express gratitude, and simply listen. Small gestures, like a phone call, a handwritten letter, or a thoughtful gift, can go a long way in strengthening bonds.

Sometimes, as much as we may wish it were different, relationships can become strained or toxic. As people, we change over time, and whilst it can be painful to let go, it’s important to recognise when a connection is no longer serving our best interests. A sign of emotional maturity is the ability for form, maintain and where necessary, to end relationships.

The new year often brings new opportunities for connection. Whether it’s a chance encounter with a friendly neighbour, a meaningful conversation with a colleague, or a deeper bond with a family member, these connections can enrich our lives. Be open to new friendships and relationships and remember that it’s never too late to make new friends. In fact, what better time than a new year to think about trying something new and making new connections?

January is also a funny old month that seems to drag on for many people. The 20th of January 2025 is often dubbed “Blue Monday,” a day supposedly coined by a travel company in 2005 to promote holiday bookings. While the validity of this specific date being the most depressing day of the year is debatable, it does serve as a reminder that many people experience a dip in mood during the winter months, especially January.

The festive period, for all it can be pleasurable, can also be emotionally and financially draining. The pressure to “enjoy” can leave many of us feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. Add to this the post-Christmas let-down, the cold, dark evenings, and the financial strain, (with the first pay day of the year still a distant glimmer), and it’s no wonder that many people feel a sense of gloom descending.

But here’s the good news: “Blue Monday” doesn’t have to be a foregone conclusion. What if we reframed this day? Instead of dreading “Blue Monday,” let’s reclaim it! Let’s use it as a catalyst for positive change, a day to prioritise our well-being and set intentions for the year ahead.

One of the core principles of the type of solution-focused therapy I practice, is to focus on what’s working, not what’s wrong. Instead of dwelling on negative thoughts (“I’m always tired,” “I’m never going to be happy”), try to identify even small moments of happiness or achievement. Did you manage to get out for a walk? Did you have a pleasant conversation with a friend? Did you complete a task you were dreading?

When we’re feeling a bit overwhelmed or burdened, it’s easy to get caught up in a cycle of negative thinking. We often jump to conclusions, assuming the worst-case scenario. For example, if a friend doesn’t respond to a message immediately, we might assume they’re ignoring us. But what if they’re simply busy?

So, if you want to avoid the January blues, but find yourself constantly veering towards the negative, try this little technique.

• Identify the thought: What is the negative thought that’s bothering you?
• Evidence for and against: What evidence supports this thought? What evidence contradicts it?
• Alternative explanations: Are there any other possible explanations for this situation?
• Impact of the thought: How does this thought make you feel? What impact does it have on your behaviour?

By questioning our thoughts, we can begin to break free from negative thought patterns and start to build a more positive outlook as we think about the rest of the month.

My main aim in writing these newsletters, is to help stop the stigma when it comes to having conversations about our mental health and well-being. If there is a particular topic you’d like me to write about then please get in touch. Feel free to send me an email with SAHIR HOUSE in the subject line to solutions@martinfurber.com

If you would like to know more about the private treatments I offer then please check out my website  https://www.martinfurber.com

Or find me on social media

LinkedIn:   https://www.linkedin.com/in/martin-furber/

Facebook: Martin Furber Therapist

How’s your December going so far? Mine has been hectic, so please excuse me for being a few days late with this month’s newsletter.

Of course, we all know that the 1^st December is a special date in our diaries, but it looks like December has got of to a flying start at Sahir House with the Santa Dash for Sahir on World AIDS Day, which combined with the Snatch Game raised a combined total of £6,883! A massive well done to everyone involved.

December can be a reflective time for many of us, a time to look back over the last year at the highs and the lows. It can also be a good to time to become a little bit more self-aware.

Sometimes we might hear the use of the words ‘self-aware’ to describe someone in a negative way. We might say it about a person who is aware of the fact they are talented or goodlooking, and perhaps a little conceited.

Self-awareness also has a more positive meaning and can be a valuable attribute. It’s a really important topic, and one that can have a big impact on your mental health and wellbeing. Self-awareness is the ability to understand your own thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. It’s about being able to see yourself clearly, both the good and the bad. When you’re self-aware, you’re better able to manage your emotions, make healthy choices, and build strong relationships.

There are many different ways to become more self-aware. One way is to simply pay attention to your thoughts and feelings throughout the day. Notice what triggers your emotions, and how you react to different situations.

Self-awareness is the foundation for personal growth and development. When we are self-aware, we can:

• Make better decisions: We can weigh our options and choose the path that aligns with our values and goals.
• Improve our relationships: We can communicate more effectively and understand the needs of others.
• Manage our emotions: We can recognise our triggers and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
• Increase our self-esteem: We can appreciate our strengths and work on our weaknesses.
• Live a more fulfilling life: We can pursue our passions and live in alignment with our true selves.

One of the key aspects of self-awareness is the ability to recognise our emotions. Emotions are a natural part of the human experience, and they can be both positive and negative. When we can identify our emotions, we can better understand and manage them.

To do this properly, we need to develop a better understanding of our triggers. Triggers are situations or events that can cause us to feel strong emotions. For example, you might be the type of person that feels incredibly angry if you are kept waiting by someone, or if someone doesn’t respond to your texts. Maybe you are the type of person who will react emotionally in a professional situation, and then have second thoughts about it afterwards, perhaps regretting something you have said.

Understanding our triggers can help us to avoid them, or the situations which may lead to them. We can also try to develop other ways of coping and reacting, once we are aware of them. It can also be helpful if we can become aware of what our own strengths and weaknesses are. Knowing our strengths can help us build on them, while recognising our weaknesses can help us improve them.

Self-reflection is a powerful tool for personal growth. It allows you to examine your thoughts, feelings, and actions objectively, leading to valuable insights and positive change.

A great way to begin the process is to draw up a list of personal strengths and weaknesses. It’s a simple enough idea, but not something many of us do. Make yourself a cuppa, set 10 minutes aside and give it a go. It might be your first step to becoming more self-aware and becoming a better version of yourself.

Remember, self-awareness is not about perfection; it’s about progress. Be patient with yourself, celebrate your successes, and embrace the journey of self-discovery. By taking the time to understand yourself, you’ll unlock your potential and live a more fulfilling life.

My final thoughts for this month. When it comes to getting in the moment and being mindful, many people say to me they simply don’t have time. My response is always the same, if you don’t have half an hour to yourself for some self-care, then you need an hour! On that note it is time for one last push before my Christmas break.

Take good care of yourselves and have a great Christmas. I’ll be back in 2025.

Martin Furber is a therapist qualified in various modalities and an Instructor Member of Mental Health First Aid England. If you would like me to cover any other subjects to do with mental health and well-being please get in touch, I’d love to hear from you. Please feel free to send me an email with SAHIR HOUSE in the subject line to solutions@martinfurber.com

If you would like to know more about the private treatments I offer then please check out my website  https://www.martinfurber.com

Or find me on social media

LinkedIn:   https://www.linkedin.com/in/martin-furber/

Facebook: Martin Furber Therapist

A Challenging Year for Our Service Users

As we approach the end of 2024, it’s important to reflect on the immense challenges faced by our service users living with, and affected by, HIV this year. The past twelve months have brought significant hurdles, underscoring the critical need for organisations like Sahir to step in and provide much-needed support.

Financial Hardship Hits Hard

The cost-of-living crisis has deeply impacted the lives of many. Rising expenses for basic necessities have strained household budgets to their limits. The withdrawal of the Winter Warm Fund was particularly devastating, leaving vulnerable individuals and families without a crucial lifeline during the coldest months. This, coupled with escalating rent prices and an alarming rise in no-fault evictions, has pushed many to the brink of financial hardship.

For many of our service users, these challenges have created a perfect storm of insecurity and anxiety. Facing such pressures without adequate resources can feel insurmountable. That’s where Sahir has stepped in to make a difference.

How Sahir House Supported Service Users

Throughout the year, we’ve worked tirelessly to support those in need. Our team has facilitated:

• Foodbank Referrals: Ensuring that no one goes hungry during these challenging times.
• Access to Benefits: Assisting service users in navigating the often-complex benefits system to ensure they receive their rightful entitlements.
• Referrals to Specialist Organisations: Connecting individuals to organisations equipped to offer tailored assistance, be it for housing, financial advice, or mental health support.
• Financial Support: As the year comes to a close, we have supported our service users with several benefit entitlement appeals that have resulted in them receiving over £10,000.

These efforts have provided a critical safety net for many, demonstrating our commitment to standing alongside our service users in times of need.

Looking Ahead to 2025

As we prepare to welcome 2025, Sahir remains steadfast in its mission to support our community. We know that challenges will continue to arise, but we are ready to adapt and respond to whatever comes our way. Our focus will remain on:

• Addressing emerging issues promptly and effectively.
• Expanding our network of support to better serve those in need.
• Advocating for systemic changes to reduce the burdens faced by vulnerable populations.

To all our service users, please know that you are not alone. Sahir House is here to listen, assist, and fight alongside you for a better tomorrow.

A Call to Action

A lot of Sahir’s support delivery is unfunded, and need your help so that we can help the community. This can be through volunteering, donating, or simply spreading the word about the work we do, every bit helps.

Join our ‘Pound for Sahir’ campaign and set up a monthly donation of £1, as well as signing up to our newsletter to learn about upcoming projects and events, so that we can continue providing this vital support.

Together, we can ensure that 2025, our 40th year, brings not just challenges, but also hope, resilience, and positive change for all.

Over a dozen local drag performers came together at Superstar Boudoir on 5 December 2024 to take part in Liverpool’s very own Snatch Game. The evening was a dazzling celebration of creativity, satire, and community spirit, all in support of Sahir.

For those unfamiliar, Snatch Game is a popular challenge from RuPaul’s Drag Race, based on a satirical version of Blankety Blank. Contestants showcase their best celebrity impersonations, blending humour with sharp social commentary.

Organised by Genevieve Renee, the event featured an impressive line-up of talent, including:

• The Vivienne – Drag Race UK Winner, West End star, and Dancing on Ice finalist
• Brenda Labeau
• Naya Thorn
• Carmen Sutra
• Aura Sutra
• Ava Cassandra
• Debbie Darling
• Vanilla Bon Bon

Guest contestants Just Minnie and Scouse Girl Savanna brought additional flair to the evening, while Robyn Renee hosted on the door and DJ Andrew kept the energy high with a killer soundtrack.

Bringing the Community Together

Reflecting on the event’s success, organiser Genevieve Renee said:

“I decided to get involved with fundraising for Sahir because the LGBTQ+ community in Liverpool has done so much for me, and I felt it was my time to give something back. Not only did we raise a lot of much-needed funds for Sahir, but we also managed to bring the community together!”

The performers’ impersonations delighted the audience, with characters like Austin Powers, Mrs Grinch, an uncanny Lily Savage, and Donald Trump taking centre stage. The satire was both entertaining and thought-provoking, addressing key social issues in a way that encouraged reflection while removing fear.

Aura Sutra’s Excitement

Aura Sutra shared her enthusiasm for the event, saying:

“Thank you so much for one of the most fun gigs I’ve had in my three years of full-time drag. My doctor, who has been supporting my transition for over two years, suggested supporting Sahir in return for everything he did for me, and I am buzzing that I’ve finally been able to do it! I can’t wait to do more!”

The Vivienne Champions the Cause

Drag Race UK winner The Vivienne, a long-time supporter of Sahir, told BBC Merseyside:

“I’ve been working with Sahir for as long as I can remember. Whenever I’ve done a TV show, like The Chase, my go-to has always been Sahir. Growing up in Liverpool, it meant so much to know there was a charity, started here, that does incredible work for the HIV/AIDS cause. Not a lot of people know about Sahir, and more people should. Supporting it as a community is vital.

“We get to take the mick out of certain characters, but it’s important to call out these individuals for what they’re doing. For example, Trump’s plan to strip the US military of all transgender people is madness. These are people willing to give their lives for their country, yet he doesn’t see them as worthy.”

Debbie Darling’s Dedication

The event also marked the return of Debbie Darling as one of Sahir’s leading drag fundraisers. Reflecting on her involvement, following her Drag & Drop abseil from Liverpool Cathedral alongside Ketona Madrave, Debbie said:

“The team at Sahir work so hard, providing the counselling and peer support our community needs. As someone who’s also a mental health nurse by day, it’s something that’s extremely close to my heart. I use every opportunity I can to give back to the charity that does so much for us.”

Fundraising Success

The night was a resounding success, raising £3,336 through ticket sales, a raffle, and the sale of limited-edition Sahir clack fans. The funds will support Sahir’s vital work in the local community.

Do you have your own fundraising ideas? Head over to Sahir’s website to set up a fundraising page and contribute to this incredible cause.

Liverpool’s vibrant annual Santa Dash brought a sea of red and blue to the city streets on the first weekend of December. This year’s event held special significance, coinciding with World AIDS Day and serving as an important reminder of the importance of community, awareness, and support. Among the thousands of Santas dashing through the city, nine incredible volunteers ran to raise funds for Sahir, Liverpool City Region’s longest-running LGBTQ+ and HIV charity.

We have been a cornerstone of support since 1985, offering vital services such as counseling, peer support, and community outreach to those living with HIV and the LGBTQ+ community. This year’s runners—Gerard Bowers McIntyre, John Hyland, John Lowe, Lycoris Bower, Luke Shannon, Gopal Prasher, Sr. Polly Amarosa, Kay, and Natalie Gaskell—came together to highlight the charity’s incredible work and ensure its continued impact.

Stories of Inspiration

Each runner had a personal story and motivation for taking part.

Gerard Bowers McIntyre shared a deeply personal connection to the cause: “I’m participating to support something which is nearly as old as me. As someone who has been living with HIV for over 16 years, it’s something very close to my heart. Supporting an organisation like Sahir helps build community, break down barriers, and remove stigma for others. Hopefully, everyone can see the value in that.”

John Hyland spoke about the broader need for community support: “I have seen firsthand the issues and concerns faced by the LGBTQ+ community and also the support that Sahir is providing. But a lot of that support goes unfunded, and the charity needs as much backing as possible.”

John Lowe highlighted the importance of collaboration: “We must share the love throughout our LGBTQ+ charities in the region and shine a light on them. Sahir has been supporting our LGBTQ+ communities and people living with HIV across the Liverpool City Region for forty years. We are all stronger together for the benefit of our community as a whole.”

Sr. Polly Amarosa brought together two unique groups for the event: “The Trans Pennine Travelling Sisters teamed up with Liverpool Leathermen to run in the Santa Dash this World AIDS Day. It’s important to support Liverpool City Region’s longest-running LGBTQ+ and HIV Charity and their fantastic work.”

Kay and Natalie joined the effort to give back: “Sahir has supported us over the last 12 months. This is our way of showing our appreciation and giving back to an organisation that means so much to us.”

Lycoris Bower, Luke Shannon, and Gopal Prasher, members of Liverpool University’s LGBTQ+ Society committee, reflected on their friendship with Sahir: “We have been longtime supporters of Sahir and the amazing work they do with their LGBTQ+ counseling and peer support groups. They’ve been our biggest ally, supporting us with resources, free sexual health advice, and most of all, encouragement! This is a small thank you for all the work Sahir does and for all those living with HIV.”

 

Making an Impact

Through their efforts, these nine runners not only raised critical funds but also amplified the message of hope, resilience, and unity. Sahir’s work—providing a safe space, breaking down stigma, and offering compassionate care—remains as vital as ever. The Santa Dash served as a powerful reminder of the strength of the Liverpool community and the importance of standing together.

As Gerard aptly put it, this effort helps “break down barriers and remove stigma,” and every step taken in the Santa Dash was a step toward a more inclusive and supportive society.

This year, the Santa Dash raised an incredible £3,547 for Sahir, ensuring the continuation of our vital services and support.

If you’d like to contribute to Sahir, or learn more about our work, reach out to info@sahir.org.uk, or head to our donate page and support our Pound for Sahir campaign.

We’re #StrongerTogether.

As I step into my fourth year with Sahir, I’m excited to share some updates about my role and how I’ll be supporting individuals and communities. This new chapter marks a shift in my responsibilities, with a new focus on providing support for those living with or affected by HIV (PLWHIV), as well as counselling for young adults in the LGBTQ+ community.

Here’s an overview of what I’ll be offering:

Support for Wirral Service Users

On Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays, I’ll be working as a Support Worker for PLWHIV in the Wirral area, providing:

• One-to-one support: Personalised, compassionate assistance personalised to individual needs.
• Peer support: Including the popular monthly Coffee & Cake Wirral meetups.
• STI testing: Confidential and professional testing services.

Counselling for Young Adults (18-25s)

On Mondays (online) and Fridays (face-to-face), I’ll be focusing on counselling services for:

• Young people living with HIV (LWHIV).
• LGBTQ+ individuals who are at risk or need additional support.

Ongoing Commitment to Women’s Support

I’ll continue to lead the monthly Well Together Women’s Group, which serves women LWHIV across the Liverpool City Region. This group remains an important space for connection, empowerment, and shared experiences.

Looking Ahead

I’m deeply committed to continuing the impactful work we do at Sahir, so if you’re a Wirral service user, an 18-25-year-old needing support, or a woman LWHIV, I look forward to working with you and supporting your journey.

Feel free to reach out if you have questions or want to learn more about Sahir’s wider services. Let’s continue building a stronger, more connected community together!

World AIDS Day, observed annually on 1st December, is an opportunity to unite communities, honour the lives of those lost to AIDS-related illnesses, support those living with HIV, and reaffirm our commitment to ending the epidemic. This year, Sahir chose the theme, “End Transmissions,” to highlight and focus on the Fast Track Cities target of ending new transmissions of HIV by 2030.

Sahir’s Annual Vigils in Liverpool and Wirral

This year, as every year, Sahir House came together to mark World AIDS Day through their annual vigils in Liverpool and Wirral, bringing communities together in shared reflection, remembrance, and hope.

The Liverpool vigil was held at the beautiful Liverpool Parish Church, with Revd Michelle Montrose as the compère for the evening. The hour-long service was a moving tribute to the past and a call to action for the future. It began with a humbling opening speech by Martin Fenerty, a counsellor at Sahir, setting the tone for the afternoon.

The service continued with a professional address from Dr. Rebecca Thomas-Glover, Consultant in Sexual Health & HIV at St. Helens Hospital and Sahir Trustee. Dr. Thomas-Glover reflected on the history of HIV and the ambitious commitment to end transmissions in England by 2030.

The vigil featured a variety of poignant guest performances:

• Choir with No Name captivated the audience with their heartfelt songs.
• MD Productions performed the evocative dance piece ‘See You, See Me.’
• Day Mattar, Co-director of Queer Bodies Poetry Collective, shared powerful poetry.
• The segment ‘Setting Intentions’ by Advocate encouraged reflection and positivity.

These wonderfully creative acts provided moments to reflect on the complex experiences of those living with and affected by HIV. While acknowledging the progress and positivity of the present, the performances also honoured the pain of the past and the ongoing stigma that impacts lives today.

Among the highlights of the evening were the personal reflections. Andrew Arthur celebrated 40 years since his diagnosis, sharing an uplifting message of resilience—congratulations, Andrew! David Smith offered a heartfelt tribute to the glittering life of Giles Edwin Bishop, and another speaker provided a personal reflection on living with HIV.

To close, attendees lit candles in honour of loved ones lost to HIV-related illnesses, sitting in silence as a collective reminder of why we wear the red ribbon. The daytime vigil was well-attended, with hot chocolate and mince pies offering comfort and warmth.

Wirral Vigil at Liberty Bell Coffee

In Wirral, a similarly moving vigil took place on 28th November 2024 at Liberty Bell Coffee, a cherished community venue. The intimate setting provided a unique atmosphere for remembrance and hope.

The evening began with opening remarks from Sahir’s organisers, setting the stage for a series of heartfelt speeches and performances. Guests were treated to contributions from talented singers Daisy Gill, Ellie Burke, and Mollie-Rose, whose moving performances added a special poignancy to the night. Scarlett Rose shared powerful poetry, resonating deeply with the audience and encouraging moments of reflection. Additionally, a talk by CGL (Change, Grow, Live) shed light on their vital work in supporting those impacted by HIV, alongside Sahir, and related issues, further emphasising the importance of community-led initiatives in combating stigma and providing care.

The cosiness of Liberty Bell Coffee was emphasised by these contributions, allowing quiet reflection and connection among attendees. One of the most poignant moments of the evening was the communal lighting of candles. This simple yet powerful act symbolised unity and hope, bringing the community together to honour lives lost while looking ahead to a brighter future.

As with the Liverpool vigil, the Wirral event underscored the importance of community in combating stigma and ensuring that no one feels left behind. The warmth of the venue and the supportive environment made the vigil a truly memorable occasion.

Looking Ahead

As Sahir House looks towards its 40th anniversary in 2025, plans are already underway for even larger commemorations and activities. These annual vigils in Liverpool and Wirral serve as a reminder of the importance of remembering the past, taking action in the present, and building a future free from HIV-related stigma and illness.

If you missed this year’s events, consider joining next year’s activities. Whether through attending a vigil, volunteering, or simply wearing a red ribbon, every action contributes to the collective fight against HIV/AIDS. Together, we can ensure that no one is left behind.

If you had told me when we first started Board Gaymes that we would sell out almost every event and be at a point a year from now where we have so many visitors to our monthly board games nights that we would need to bring in extra tables and chairs, I would have 1) been confused as to how the hell you know that (are you psychic? Have we invented time travel?) and 2) absolutely would have not believed you. But here we are, a year and a half into running the nerdiest night in town, and that’s exactly where we’ve gotten.

To anyone who might not know who we are – Board Gaymes is a monthly queer board games night held in Lovelocks, one of our favourite independent LGBT-friendly cafes, and run by a group of gay nerds looking for a good time. Everyone’s welcome, as long as you’re a member of (or ally to) the queer community and you like a good round of Cluedo. It’s BYOG, bring your own games, but don’t worry if you don’t have any – we have plenty of board games lovers who bring their favourites to teach to newbies. It’s a great place to meet new people, try new things, and have a laugh over some coffee & cake.

We originally started hosting Board Gaymes out of a search for community. I moved to Liverpool in spring of 2022 – but, despite my sparkling personality, I really struggled to find queer friends nearby. Sure, Liverpool has plenty of excellent gay bars and club nights where you can make friends on the dance floor, but for those of us who like our socialisation with a little less tequila and a little more tea, there weren’t really any exclusively queer spaces beyond local support groups and some safe space cafes (like our beloved Lovelocks). That, and a shared love of all things nerdy, lead me and Daryl to host the first ever Board Gaymes back in September 2023 to celebrate Trans Pride – and since we had so much positive feedback from people feeling the same way we did, we’ve been hosting them regularly ever since.

Our Cosy Night In on November 22^nd was our biggest and busiest event so far. So many new faces! Visitors from other cities! We had to bring in more tables just to give everyone a place to sit! Our silly little queer board games night has grown faster than I could’ve imagined. It’s always such a delight to see new people visiting for the first time and catch up with regular gaymers too (and if I didn’t recognise you, I’m so sorry, ADHD and face blindness are a curse 😅). It’s an absolute blessing to find not only a community of like-minded gay nerds that come to these events, but more people willing to lend a hand and make Board Gaymes nights great –  including our brilliant guest DMs who run beginner friendly one-shots during the events, and the two admins who’ve joined our little team of volunteers since we started.

Look at all these lovely people!

Honestly, I must admit, when I got a moment to myself outside our last Board Gaymes night and looked back into the thriving scene behind Lovelock’s big windows, I started to get teary. I’ve been part of Board Gaymes since its inception, and I have always wanted it to be a warm and welcoming environment – a place where you could walk in knowing no one, and leave with brand new friends. Seeing everyone have a good time, the smiles and laughter – it means more to me than you could possibly imagine.

So, what are the big plans for Board Gaymes in the futuristic sounding year of 2025? Well, we’ve got a couple of cool things in the works – and we’re actually already working on trying to help our local queer community more, especially queer organisations in Liverpool. I’d like to take two seconds just to talk about one of the charities we’re planning to work with, Sahir House.

Sahir is Liverpool’s oldest LGBTQ+ charity, and next year they’re celebrating their 40th year of helping provide support, camaraderie and connection to the queer community and people living with/affected by HIV. They’re a fantastic charity and do so much for the Liverpool community – and whilst we might not be doing an event this December, Sahir definitely are!

You might have heard about their upcoming Snatch Game with a host of infamous drag artists, including Liverpool’s very own ice-skating queen The Vivienne! We’ve not got anything to do with this, but it’s a fun event for a good cause, and the people at Sahir have been so supportive of our Board Gaymes nights (and are even putting my dumb little blog post up on their website – thank you by the way!), so it feels like the least I can do is to plug their next event. You can check out the event page for the Snatch Game for Sahir by clicking here.*

*(Editor note: We didn’t ask them to write this, honest!)

As for us over at Board Gaymes? Well, we’ve got a few things in the pipeline – fundraisers, merch, and definitely more board games nights! The admin team are going to run these events until we’re wrinkly old gays in a retirement home gathered around a Scrabble board. We love these events, but we are just a small team of 4, with most of us having full time jobs alongside Board Gaymes. That’s why having the support from other queer organisations and communities in Merseyside, like Sahir, is so important to us – as queer people, our strength has always been in our community. We’re so thrilled that they’ve been so welcoming to us, and we’re looking forward to working more with them to help celebrate their 40^th anniversary.

Sadly, our Cosy Night In was the last Board Gaymes of 2024. But hey, if you haven’t had a chance to attend one of our nights yet, don’t worry – we’ll be back to hosting in January, and we would love to see some new faces join us at Lovelocks. If you’d like to know when the next board Gaymes night is being held, you can join our Discord and chat to other Board Gaymers, follow us on Instagram or subscribe to our email newsletter The Board Gayzette to get updates straight to your inbox.

Alright, well! That’s all from me for now – but if you liked this piece and want me to keep you updated on all things Board Gaymes on a monthly basis, you can find me over at The Board Gayzette. Hope you all have a great December, and we’ll hopefully play a game or two together in the New Year!

Lots of love,
Ripley (they/them) x

This year, Sahir, with funding from Merseyside Police and Crime Commissioner’s Community Cashback Fund, delivered quarterly town hall events, where the LGBTQ+ community, and its allies, could come together and discuss important issues that affect them.

With a pilot focused on the LGBTQ+ community’s relationship with Merseyside Police, as well as Peter Tatchell’s ‘Apologise Now’ campaign, taking place in December 2023, the Queer Town Hall was able to grow and develop into something much wider.

You can read the report from our pilot event here: Queer Town Hall- PILOT Merseyside police

The first official LCR Queer Town Hall focused on ‘Pride in the Commnity’, providing a space for the community to talk about what they believe Pride is, what it means to them, and explored various ways it can be celebrated. With an opportunity for regional Pride organisers to engage with the community, it was definitely a thoroughly talked through event, which ultimately lead to the ‘You said, we did’ delivery, from Sahir, of curating 2024’s Access Pride.

You can ready the report from our ‘Pride in the Community’ event here: Queer Town Hall- PRIDE

We are currently working through all the commentary from our ‘LGBTQ+ health and wellbeing post COVID19’ Queer Town Hall, due to the sheer amount of feedback provided – only further demonstrating how important these events are to bring the community together and provide it a voice.

Sign up to our newsletter to hear about when our next Queer Town Hall will be here.

I can’t believe how quickly time flies. This month is two years since I started to write my regular column for Sahir House. I enjoy writing, especially for my own community, so I hope you find my articles and tips useful.

This month I thought I’d tell you about how to go about turning negative thoughts into positive ones

Can you really think yourself better if you are struggling with your mental well-being? The short answer, in a lot of cases, is yes. If you can learn to change the way you think, you can play a major part in helping yourself to feel better.

Quite simply, what you tell yourself really matters to your state of mind.

If someone is suffering with low mood or has depression, they may well feel overwhelmed by things and unable to see much in the way of positivity when they look to the future. They may also have a very negative view of themselves, their lives and even the world in general.

All these thoughts and feelings are actually a product of someone’s imagination, they haven’t happened, we are imagining these things. They are, in effect, a negative forecast of the future. These repetitive, negative thinking cycles can become self-perpetuating, they become more and more ingrained into a person’s way of thinking. In effect we are using our imagination in a negative way, but that’s all it is, imagination.

So, it stands to sense that if our negative thoughts and predictions about the future are being created in our imagination and making us feel down; then, if we can create good thoughts instead, we can start to feel better about the future and view it more positively. I am of course simplifying things here in the space I have, but hopefully you get the idea of it. The only one in control of your thoughts is you. You can decide which thoughts you allow to live in your imagination.

So, here’s how you can start to make a change.

Set yourself some quiet time, on your own, maybe grab a cuppa! Get yourself comfortable, and try the following, simple technique.

Just imagine, for a moment how you would feel if the future looked a little better. If you remembered you had something to look forward to. If you were feeling just a little further up the happiness scale from where you are now. I’m not talking about a lottery win, I’m talking a sunny day or a visit to a good friend, something achievable. Think of something in the past that made you feel good, something you could do again. Just try to imagine, for a moment or two, and then take a few moments to ponder over each of the following 5 questions, and really think about each one.

• What could you be doing differently?
• How would it make you feel?
• If you were feeling a bit better, who in your life would be surprised to see this happening?
• How would it affect them?
• How would they react differently to you?

If you’ve given a few moments to each of the questions above, allowing yourself to really visualise these things, you will have already started to imagine yourself in a more positive future. When we ask ourselves this type of question, we immediately begin to think about how our future would be without the problem that is bothering us at the moment. We are using our imagination and our own resources to picture ourselves feeling differently in the future. This technique allows us to build a more positive mental image in our minds.

When we begin to create our own positive images of the future, we are utilising the ‘intellectual’ side of our brain. When we do this, we are, in effect, quietening down the negative fight/flight/depression side of our minds at the same time.

The important thing to do, is to make time for this type of personal self-care. It is all too easy, when we are stressed, to just get on with our day, not allowing our mind the time it needs, to have some space to think ahead in a positive way. When we are stressed, we tend to see thing in the worst-case scenario, we can start to play out these negative scenarios many times over. We can’t help it, it is a natural reaction to stress. If you make a conscious effort to use the techniques above, it can really make a difference, so why not give it a try?

My main aim in writing these newsletters, is to help stop the stigma when it comes to having conversations about our mental health and well-being. If there is a particular topic you’d like me to write about then please get in touch. Feel free to send me an email with SAHIR HOUSE in the subject line to solutions@martinfurber.com

If you would like to know more about the private treatments I offer then please check out my website  https://www.martinfurber.com

Or find me on social media

LinkedIn:   https://www.linkedin.com/in/martin-furber/

Facebook: Martin Furber Therapist

On Friday 18 October, The Collaborative Network CIC hosted their inaugural LGBTQ+ FLOWERS Awards at the Titanic Hotel.

It was a fabulous evening that brought all parts of our community together – from employers, community groups, charities, and individual champions – recognising the collective, inclusive positivity that they all bring to Liverpool City Region.

Representatives from Sahir were shortlisted in four different awards:

Community Impact Award – Kath Charters

Diversity Champion Award – Kat Taylor

LGBTQ+ Ally Award – Ange English

Inspirational Leader of the Year Award – Ant Hopkinson

Sadly, Kath, Kat and Ange did not bring their awards home, but we’re incredibly proud of their recongition in being nominated in the first place; as they help so many of service users, and more, day in, day out.

However, the room exploded when our CEO, Ant Hopkinson, was announced as the winner of the Inspiration Leader of the Year award. As his winning nomination was read out, there were cheers of “hear, hear”, which only demonstrated the impact Ant has had on our community, inside and out of his role with Sahir.

Unfortunately, Ant was unable to attend on the evening, so Community Partnerships & Individual Giving Lead, John Hyland, LGBTQ+ Support Worker, Kat Taylor, and Kath Charters accepted the award on his behalf.

We want to thank all of those who continue to support Sahir.

On Wednesday 16th October, the local LGBTQ+ community came together as part of Sahir’s Queer Town Hall, as an opportunity to discuss issues important to us.

Following previous QTH’s focusing on:

• Merseyside Police
• Pride in the Community

We came together to focus on LGBTQ+ health and wellbeing post COVID-19, and heard from a number of speakers, including:

• Vivian Hope from Liverpool John Moore’s University
• Claire Stevens from Healthwatch Liverpool, discussing the Trans Health Report
• Rach Gaskell from Central Liverpool Primary Care Network
• Kate Sanders from Spirit Level
• James Woolgar from Liverpool City Council

The event was expertly hosted by The Queen of Heartbreak, with a performance from Saint Vespaluus.

We will be taking the incredible feedback we received on the evening, and writing up a report to share with both the community and those health & care providers who attended the event.