This International Women’s Day (Friday, 8th March), Sahir is proud to celebrate all the women who play a vital role in our work – supporting the LGBTQ+ community and people living with HIV.

For 40 years, Sahir has been a lifeline for communities facing stigma, discrimination, and isolation. We recognise that gender-based inequality doesn’t affect everyone in the same way – and we remain committed to uplifting and supporting those most at risk.

We celebrate all women, including trans women, disabled women, women of colour, working-class women, and women living with HIV. We also recognise that non-binary, gender-diverse, and intersex people experience many of the same barriers and deserve support, inclusion, and respect.

Today, we highlight the incredible people leading this work and reflect on our ongoing commitment to inclusion and empowerment.

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On the frontline of Sahir’s Work

Sahir’s services are led by dedicated individuals who provide essential support, advocacy, and community engagement:

• Gill – LGBTQ+ Services & Operations Manager (she/her)
  Gill leads our LGBTQ+ support programmes, ensuring that Sahir continues to be a safe and inclusive space for everyone who needs us.

• Kellie – HIV Services Manager (she/her)
  Kellie oversees our HIV support services, providing practical and emotional support to people living with HIV and working to reduce stigma.

• Shereen – LGBTQ+ People Seeking Asylum & Refugee Lead (she/her)
  LGBTQ+ asylum seekers – particularly women and gender-diverse people – face multiple barriers to safety and support. Shereen ensures they receive advocacy, guidance, and access to essential services.

• Rachael – Wirral HIV Support Worker (she/her)
  Based in Wirral, Rachael provides specialist one-to-one support for people living with HIV, helping them navigate services and maintain their well-being.

• Ange – HIV Support Worker (she/her)
  Ange is dedicated to supporting people affected by HIV, offering guidance, advocacy, and a listening ear to those who need it most.

• Kat – LGBTQ+ Community Engagement Worker (they/she)
  Kat works across Liverpool City Region to engage and connect LGBTQ+ people, ensuring they feel heard, valued, and supported.

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A Long History of Inclusion & Support

At Sahir, we have always championed inclusion, diversity, and equality. Over the years, we have:

✅ Provided lifesaving HIV support services for women, trans people, and gender-diverse communities.
✅ Created safe spaces for LGBTQ+ women, non-binary, and intersex people to access peer support and community.
✅ Supported LGBTQ+ people seeking asylum, many of whom face additional barriers due to gender, race, and immigration status.
✅ Delivered education and advocacy to challenge HIV stigma, transphobia, and misinformation.

Our work is built on the belief that everyone deserves dignity, respect, and support – regardless of gender identity, sexuality, or background.

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How You Can Get Involved

This International Women’s Day, we invite you to:

💜 Learn more about the experiences of LGBTQ+ women, trans women, non-binary people, and those affected by HIV.
💜 Engage with our services – whether you need support or want to volunteer.
💜 Help us challenge stigma by sharing information and raising awareness.

At Sahir, inclusion is more than a word – it’s at the heart of everything we do. Today and every day, we remain committed to supporting, uplifting, and standing alongside all those who need us.

💜 For more information about our work, visit sahir.org.uk.

Can you tell us a bit about yourself and what brought you to where you are today?

Leaving my homeland was not a choice I made lightly; it was a matter of survival. As a bisexual man, I was outed in my community, leading to persecution and fear for my life. I knew I had to leave my country to seek safety, which took me through multiple countries until I eventually arrived in the United Kingdom on a small boat crossing.

Once in the UK, I sought a safe space where I could connect with the LGBTQ+ community. That’s when I discovered Sahir, an organisation dedicated to supporting LGBTQ+ asylum seekers. It became a crucial part of my journey, helping me navigate trauma, build confidence, and find a sense of belonging. Thanks to their support, I was granted refugee status on 11th September 2024. With this newfound stability, I secured a job as a production operative and now look forward to advancing my career in healthcare and mental health nursing.

How did you first hear about Sahir, and what led you to connect with us?

I first heard about Sahir through a friend who was living in the same Home Office accommodation as me. At the time, he didn’t know about my sexual orientation but recommended Sahir for asylum support. When I first arrived, I was hesitant to open up about my identity and experiences. However, with time and trust, I was able to share my story and fully embrace my identity as a bisexual man.

In what ways has Sahir supported you, and what difference has that made in your life?

Sahir has been a lifeline for me. Through their support, I gained the confidence to speak about my sexual orientation, even with my GP—something I once found incredibly difficult. Meeting others from my community through peer support groups made me realise that I was not alone.

Beyond emotional support, Sahir also helped me tackle mental health challenges. I struggled with chronic alcoholism as a way of coping with trauma, but with the counselling and mental health support provided by Sahir, I was able to begin my recovery. Sahir became like a family to me—I no longer felt isolated.

Participating in activities such as yoga, English classes, and outdoor events gave me structure and purpose. Most importantly, Sahir guided me through the asylum process, which ultimately led to me being granted refugee status.

Where are you now on your journey, and what are you most proud of?

Today, I finally feel safe. I no longer live in fear of deportation or persecution. I am focused on building a career and giving back to the society that has welcomed me. I am incredibly proud of my confidence and my progress in overcoming depression. Recovery is a journey, but I am moving forward.

One of the things I am most proud of is being able to introduce others to Sahir. I know firsthand how life-changing their support can be, and I want to ensure that others in similar situations have access to the same help and community that I did.

What are your hopes for the future, and how can we continue to support you on your path?

Sahir has been, and continues to be, my family. I hope to always have access to their support when I face challenges that feel too big to handle alone. My dream is to become a mental health nurse, and I am currently receiving CBT therapy to help me along this path. With the right support and determination, I believe I can make a real difference in the lives of others who have faced similar struggles.

Why is LGBT+ History Month important to you?

LGBTQ+ History Month holds deep significance for me. It serves as a reminder of who I am, where I come from, and what I have been through. It acknowledges the struggles and victories of those who came before us while also highlighting the ongoing fight for equality and acceptance.

For me personally, it represents my journey—from the trauma of being outed and persecuted to the freedom of expressing myself openly in the United Kingdom. It also signifies my ability to support others, ensuring they too find the safety and belonging that I was fortunate enough to receive.

My journey has not been easy, but with the support of Sahir, I have found hope, strength, and a new sense of purpose. I am excited for what the future holds and grateful for the chance to build a life where I can truly be myself.

For anyone who may be in a similar position, know that you are not alone. There is support out there, and there is always hope.

At Sahir, we are privileged to work with incredible individuals whose journeys inspire and remind us of the importance of support, acceptance, and advocacy. In honor of LGBT+ History Month, we spoke with Arthur Britney Joestar about their experiences and the impact Sahir has had on their life. Here’s their story in their own words.

Can you tell us a bit about yourself and what brought you to where you are today?

Hi, I’m Arthur Britney Joestar – 33 years old, non-binary. I’m an anime and Nintendo lover. My journey has been shaped by many experiences, including my time as a service user, volunteer, and project partner with Sahir. Over the past eight years, this connection has been instrumental in shaping my path.

How did you first hear about Sahir, and what led you to connect with us?

I was first referred to Sahir when I was seeking asylum. The staff at Birley Court directed me to Sahir, and that connection became a turning point in my life.

In what ways has Sahir supported you, and what difference has that made in your life?

Sahir has had a profound impact on my life, and I will always be grateful for that. They helped me access HIV treatment after my diagnosis, provided crucial support through the challenging asylum process, and connected me with legal aid. Having a dedicated support worker made a world of difference, ensuring I wasn’t navigating this hostile process alone.

Beyond practical support, Sahir played a crucial role in my mental well-being. Their counseling services helped me manage the emotional toll of my experiences, and their safe space allowed me to explore and embrace my gender identity. The acceptance and support I found through Sahir changed my life for the better.

Where are you now on your journey, and what are you most proud of?

I believe that our journey only ends with our last breath. Life is about continuous growth, and while I may not know exactly where I am, I do know that I am happy. I am proud of the person I have become, the strength I have found within myself, and the direction my life is taking.

What are your hopes for the future, and how can we continue to support you on your path?

Right now, I am in a stable and fulfilling place, working hard to make my dreams come true. Sahir has been, and always will be, a part of my life, and I am grateful for the unwavering support I have received.

Why is LGBT+ History Month important to you?

LGBT+ History Month is a time to reflect on our past, acknowledge our struggles, and celebrate our victories. It’s essential to know where we have come from so that we can continue the fight for our rights and ensure that we never lose the progress we have made.

 

Arthur Britney Joestar’s story is a testament to resilience, self-discovery, and the power of community. As we celebrate LGBT+ History Month, let’s continue to support and uplift one another, ensuring that every individual has access to the resources and acceptance they deserve.

If you or someone you know could benefit from Sahir’s support, please don’t hesitate to reach out. Together, we can build a future where everyone is free to live as their authentic selves.

Remembering The Vivienne, Celebrating History, and Facing Uncertainty

The tragic passing of Jame Lee Williams, aka The Vivienne last month, sent shockwaves through our LGBTQ+ community in Liverpool and beyond. Their vibrant personality and groundbreaking success as the first UK winner of RuPaul’s Drag Race UK brought joy and visibility to many. Whilst the support James gave to Sahir House will always be remembered, it’s crucial to remember the ongoing challenges faced by LGBTQ+ individuals in our city and beyond.

LGBTQ+ History Month & Sahir House:

This February, we celebrate LGBTQ+ History Month, a time to reflect on the struggles and triumphs of our community. It’s a reminder of the countless individuals who fought for our rights and paved the way for generations to come.

As you are no doubt aware, Sahir House plays a vital role in supporting our LGBTQ+ community in Liverpool. We provide a safe and inclusive space for individuals to access mental health services, find support, and connect with others. Perhaps given the current political climate in the USA, with the rise of transphobic legislation under the Trump administration, many of us have good reason to be worried.

Recent events in the USA are causing deep anxiety within the LGBTQ+ community here in the UK. We are witnessing a dangerous erosion of rights and a surge in hate crimes against transgender individuals. This has a profound impact on our collective mental health. Many of us are experiencing heightened fear, anger, and a sense of hopelessness. We may feel powerless to stop the tide of transphobia and worry about the potential impact on our own lives and the lives of our loved ones. For many older members of our community, historical memories of the discrimination and hatred we faced in the past, may come flooding back.

Finding Hope and Resilience:

It’s crucial that we remember our strength and resilience as a community. We have faced adversity before and overcome significant challenges. We must continue to support each other, stand in solidarity with our trans-siblings, and fight for a more just and equitable world.

Onto other matters this month – We’ve got Valentines Day! Love it or hate it, I thought as a therapist it would be good to explain what happens in our bodies when we fall in love, and why we can seem to lose the plot!

Attraction, the initial spark that draws us to someone, is largely driven by our primal instincts. Irrespective of sexuality or gender, our brains are constantly scanning the environment for potential partners. This process is largely unconscious, guided by ancient programming.

When we meet someone we find attractive, our brains release a cocktail of chemicals. Pheromones, subtle chemical signals, play a role in this initial attraction, though their influence on humans is still being researched. We also get dopamine surges, creating feelings of pleasure, excitement, and motivation. This is the same chemical released when we experience other rewarding activities, like eating delicious food or achieving a goal. It’s what makes us feel good when we’re around the person we’re attracted to, driving us to seek their company.

There are other chemicals at play too which increase our heart rate, trigger sweating, and create that “butterflies in the stomach” feeling. This is also why we get that heightened sense of alertness and focus we experience when we’re with someone we find attractive. This combination of dopamine and norepinephrine creates a state of intense focus and excitement, which can be incredibly exhilarating.

As attraction deepens and moves towards what we call “romantic love,” other chemicals come into play. This is what contributes to that “can’t eat, can’t sleep” feeling often associated with new love.

But perhaps the most crucial hormone in the bonding process is oxytocin, often referred to as the “love hormone”. Oxytocin is released during physical contact, such as hugging, kissing, and intimacy. It promotes feelings of trust, attachment, and closeness, strengthening the bond between partners. This is why physical touch is so important in romantic relationships; it reinforces those feelings of connection and intimacy.

All well and good so far you may think. However, this intoxicating cocktail of chemicals can also have some less desirable side effects.

When we’re in the throes of new love, our brains can become a bit foggy. The part of the brain responsible for rational thought and judgment, can be temporarily suppressed. This explains why people in love can sometimes make impulsive decisions or overlook red flags. We become so focused on the positive aspects of the relationship that we may struggle to see things objectively.

So if you are familiar with the type of person who falls in love every other week, and tends to take leave of their sense when they do, then this should go some way to explain things.

We can get quite hooked on those intense feelings we get in those first few months of a relationship – hence the idea that we can love being in love!

If there is a particular topic you’d like me to write about then please get in touch. Feel free to send me an email with SAHIR HOUSE in the subject line to solutions@martinfurber.com

If you would like to know more about the treatments I offer then please check out my website  https://www.martinfurber.com

Or find me on social media

LinkedIn:   https://www.linkedin.com/in/martin-furber/

Facebook: Martin Furber Therapist

Can you tell us a bit about yourself and what brought you to where you are today? 

My name is Scarlett Rose, I am a Trans Woman based in Liverpool with my Husband. I am an artist, writer, poet, public speaker and Trans and Queer Activist. My journey as a Trans woman has been a short one, in terms of when I started my transition, but realistically my exploration of oneself and my path to finding my truth has been a lifelong set of discoveries. I have always been a creative and passionate soul, always bouncing between creative projects, and I always struggled to find my tribe. Even living as (to the outside world) a gay man, friendship groups were always something that seemed so fleeting. Now that I am an out and proud Trans woman, and living in Liverpool, I have been able to find connections with a beautiful community and use my voice to help the community that has helped me so much.

How did you first hear about Sahir, and what led you to connect with us? 

I remember communicating with other Trans people, in a few Facebook groups, ones focused in Liverpool. Sahir house was one of the services that were brought to my attention, and upon my discovery of my Transness I was very eager to get my journey started and contacted Sahir without hesitation. I vaguely recall emailing and then being called by Kath while I was nervously browsing the NYX makeup counter in boots. I had a phone call with Kat as well and they were both so kind and sweet, and I felt a little overwhelmed by their kindness as kindness is something that I have not received a lot of in my life. They both made me feel so safe, and seen, even from those first phone calls. We talked about my self-discovery and what Sahir could offer me in terms of support, and this is where my relationship with Sahir began to bloom.

 In what ways has Sahir supported you, and what difference has that made in your life? 

Sahir have been there from the very beginning of my transition, even just before I started hormones. I went to my first couple of Gender Proud meetings presenting as male, and I was so nervous. I can still remember the nausea, and the uncontrollable shaking. This was where I met Kat for the first time, and I can honestly say that she has been one of the key people in helping me through out my transition. She may claim to have not done much but I don’t quite think she knows how much joy, self-love, and confidence she has instilled in me from her kindness and her support. She has always been there to talk to me, give me advice, and she is one of the kindest and most authentic human beings I have ever met. She has seen me at my lowest and my highest and never once has she turned away from me. Sahir house is full of wonderful people, and it’s people like Kat, Kath, John and Jared (these are the lovelies I have interacted with most), that I can confidently say I wouldn’t be the woman I am today. I am tearing up typing this, because I think of all the times Sahir house have supported me, encouraged me, and urged me to thrive. They even offered me counselling when I felt I had no one to turn to. Counselling which to be completely honest. Had a hand in saving my life when I was at my lowest.

Not only have they supported me as a Trans person, but they have also supported me as a creative and an advocate. Gracing me with opportunities to speak my truth and perform my poetry at some of their events. Every opportunity they offer me like that, truly is an honour. I will be forever grateful to Sahir House and intend/hope that Sahir and the wonderful people who work there, will be a constant part of my life and my journey.

Where are you now on your journey, and what are you most proud of? 

I am only just over a year and half into my transition, and while it still feels like I am very much at the beginning of my journey, a lot has happened/changed. Aside from the physical changes that have been so wonderfully affirming for me, as well as finally allowing myself to feel at home and connected in my body, the mental changes have probably been the most significant.

I think more clearly, I speak more confidently and carry myself in a way that states to the world, I belong. It’s through this constant change of self-awareness and growing confidence that I have been able to build myself up as an activist and advocate within my community. Pre Transition Scarlett would not have been able to do what I am doing now, and that is cultivating a loving community for myself, and being able to know my own voice, and use that voice for positive change. I am speaking more at events, giving speeches, reciting poetry and now I am doing something that allows me to effect positive change for a community so full of love, that I will never be in short supply of spiritual fulfilment, having a purpose as a human being and transperson, and feeling like I belong. What I am building, and what I will be able to do for my community. That is what I am most proud of.

 What are your hopes for the future, and how can we continue to support you on your path?

What my hopes are for the future, are basically a super-sized version of what I am beginning to do now. Advocacy for my community alongside my creativity, is what I want to do with my life. I am just starting to do that now in a real way, and I am hoping that will continue on an upward trajectory.

In terms of what Sahir can do to support me on my journey, is exactly what they are doing now and have been doing for many many years for our community. They have been such a lifeline for me, not just as a Trans person but also as a human being. I can say with absolute confidence and speaking from personal experience, that what they do is lifesaving.

 Why is LGBTQ+ History Month important to you?

LGBTQ+ History month is so important to me, as it raises awareness for our community and through exploring our history we can remember and respect the people who fought for us, and to show people that we have always been here. We are a natural and beautiful part of humanity and that is something to be celebrated. By learning about our history, we are reminded that we have fought and won before, and in today’s current political climate, even in spite of the level of volatility and vitriolic hate we are subjected too, we can fight, and we can overcome. Our history reminds us of our strength as a community and how we can and should come together to lift each other up and help each other thrive. Our history is important because it also shows us that what rights we do have right now, were hard fought for by our community, and why we as a collective need to stand up and fight even harder. Those who came before us did it, often at great cost to themselves, and that is one of the many reasons why we should do the same today.

Follow Scarlett on Instagram @HRHScarlettRose

LGBTQ+ History Month – a dedicated time to reflect, remember, and celebrate the real lives of LGBTQ+ people past and present.

It’s about honouring the struggles and successes of our global community in the fight for acceptance, equality, and the right to be ourselves.

Here in Liverpool and the Liverpool City Region, we’re surrounded by incredible stories of resilience, courage, and pride. At Sahir, we’re proud to stand with our community – recognising those who’ve fought for change, those still fighting, and those simply trying to live their truth in a world that doesn’t always make it easy.

Click on the following images to read their stories:

#LGBTQHistoryMonth #RealPeopleRealStories #SahirHouse #PrideInMerseyside #StrongerTogether

When Did Meta Start Taking Tips from James Bond Villains?

You know the type—sitting in their lairs, pulling levers that disrupt the world while insisting it’s all for the greater good. That’s how Meta’s recent rollback of its diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) policies feels. Except this time, it’s not some fictional doomsday device in play. It’s the livelihoods, safety, and dignity of real people—especially women and LGBTQ+ communities—being quietly sidelined.

I grew up in an Irish Catholic family where the women were nothing short of heroes. My mum, aunties, and gran balanced full-time jobs in the NHS and education with full-time jobs at home, running households, raising kids, and holding everything together. They showed me what resilience looks like: real, salt-of-the-earth strength that kept the world turning, often without thanks or recognition.

But as a closeted gay man in that world, life was hard. I spent years hiding who I was, and by the time I entered the professional world, that fear had taken root. I’ve faced workplace homophobia—sometimes blatant, sometimes cloaked as “banter.” It chipped away at my confidence and left me questioning where, or even if, I belonged. More than once, I turned down opportunities—not because I lacked ambition or ability, but because I was too exhausted from trying to fit in where I wasn’t welcome.

That’s why DEI policies aren’t just “nice to have.” They’re lifelines. They allow people to show up as their true selves, free from fear of exclusion or hostility. And when a company as powerful as Meta steps back from those commitments, it sends a chilling message: inclusion is optional. But here’s the truth—it isn’t. It’s essential.

Why Meta’s Actions Matter

Meta’s recent policy shifts are more than an internal decision—they set the tone for countless others. This isn’t just about metrics or corporate image; it’s about lives. DEI policies create fairness, belonging, and visibility. They empower people to thrive in environments where they feel safe and valued. Rolling them back tells vulnerable communities that their progress can be ripped away on a whim.

I’ve seen the transformative power of inclusion when done right. It’s not about handouts or box-ticking. It’s about giving people what they need to succeed. And when companies like Meta undermine that, the ripple effects are immense.

As someone who leads a charity supporting women and LGBTQ+ people, this hits especially hard. We rely on platforms like Meta’s to connect with the people we serve. For many, these platforms are lifelines—a place to find support, advocacy, and community. When these companies deprioritize inclusion, it’s not just disappointing—it’s dangerous.

What Comes Next?

We’ll keep using these platforms for now because the need is too great. But that doesn’t mean staying silent. We’ll continue speaking up, calling it out, and demanding better.

Meta may have pulled a lever, but it’s up to us to make sure it doesn’t disrupt the progress we’ve fought so hard to achieve. If you care about fairness, belonging, and visibility, now’s the time to act. Support organizations that fight for inclusion. Hold companies accountable for their decisions. And above all, remember this: inclusion isn’t optional—it’s essential.

On Sunday 12th January, Liverpool came together in the most beautiful way to celebrate and remember our beloved James Lee Williams, known to the world as The Vivienne. Organised by Sahir, the vigil was filled with love, laughter, and the kind of joy that James always brought into every room. It was a night that showed just how much he meant to all of us.

A City Wrapped in Love

Liverpool City Council made it possible for us to gather at St George’s Plateau, the perfect place to share our memories, shed a few tears, and smile at the incredible life James lived. As night fell, the city turned green in his honour—St George’s Hall, the Liverpool Empire Theatre, Everyman Theatre, and Liverpool One all lighting up in tribute to his unforgettable turn as the Wicked Witch in The Wizard of Oz – the perfect backdrop for us to come together under.

James’ face shone across the city too, thanks to Open Media, Liverpool One, and the Royal Court Theatre, who donated digital screen space to make sure his presence was felt everywhere.

We’d like to express so much gratitude to Morecrofts Solicitors, Dutton Gregory Solicitors, and The Guide Liverpool, whose support helped us bring this special night together.

Stories, Laughter, and Love

The heart of the vigil was in the stories shared by those who knew James best.

• His best friend, Bobby Musker, spoke straight from the heart, bringing both laughter and tears as he shared stories of their years together.
• John Hyland, from Sahir, reminded us of James’ dedication to LGBTQ+ advocacy and the impact he had on the community, particularly through the video content they created together over the years.
• Danny Beard, winner of Drag Race UK Season 4, spoke with warmth about their deep friendship and the fearless performer James was.
• Tiara Fletcher and Steven Hulme, both close friends, painted a picture of James that we all knew and loved—kind, generous, and always ready with a joke – not to mention forcing the BBC to pop a ‘contains strong language’ warning on their livestream of the event!
• Broadcaster Pete Price spoke with admiration for James’ contributions, not just to the LGBTQ+ community but to the entertainment world as a whole.
• Simon Jones, James’ manager and friend, shared memories of his incredible journey in entertainment and the legacy he leaves behind.
• The most touching moment came when James’ niece, Isabella, stood beside Bobby to read a message from James’ family, a powerful reminder of the personal loss behind our public tribute.

A Legacy That Lives On

James was more than a performer—he was a friend, a trailblazer, and a force of nature. His impact on the LGBTQ+ community, on the entertainment industry, and on each of us lucky enough to have known him will never fade.

From the bottom of our hearts, thank you to everyone who came, who contributed, and who helped us send James off in true Liverpool style. The city showed up for him, just like he always showed up for us.

Rest easy, James. We’ll keep your light shining.

An icon of drag, a beautiful human and a pillar of strength to Sahir House. How can any of us not be affected by the recent passing of The Vivienne.

For many, the whole situation feels surreal, and many of our conversations are around shock, disbelief and of course great sadness. For so many of us the loss feels particularly personal, especially of course around Sahir House and Liverpool. Of course, all of these reactions are a testament to the massive impact The Vivienne had, not just throughout our community, but throughout the UK and beyond.

It’s impossible for us to lose someone held so dear, and not be affected, on many levels.

If you’re struggling at the moment, you may find it helpful to focus on what we can do, even in the face of such loss. While we can’t change what has happened, we can choose how we respond and how we support ourselves and each other.

It’s okay to grieve. Grief is a natural human emotion, and it can manifest in many different ways. There’s no right or wrong way to feel. Some people may experience sadness, anger, confusion, or even disbelief. Allow yourself to feel whatever emotions arise without judgment.

The Vivienne brought joy, laughter, and representation to so many. Their performances and advocacy made a real difference. Focusing on the positive contributions they made can be a helpful way to honour their memory. Think about the moments they made you smile, the times they inspired you, or the messages they shared that resonated with you.

Sharing your feelings with others who understand can be incredibly helpful at times like this. Talk to friends, family, or support groups. Sahir House is here for you, offering a safe and supportive space to connect with others who may be experiencing similar feelings. Don’t hesitate to reach out to us for support.

In solution-focused therapy, we focus on what’s already working well in your life. What strengths and resources have helped you cope with difficult times in the past? How can you draw on those strengths now? Perhaps it’s your resilience, your ability to connect with others, or even your sense of humour.

During times of grief, it’s essential to prioritise self-care. Make sure you’re getting enough rest, eating nutritious food, and engaging in activities that bring you joy and help you relax. This might include spending time in nature, listening to music, or pursuing a hobby.

Remember, grief is a process, and it takes time. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself the space to heal. By focusing on our strengths, connecting with others, and remembering the positive impact The Vivienne had, we can navigate this difficult time together. Sahir House is here to offer support, so please don’t hesitate to reach out if you need someone to talk to.

Love, peace & healing,

Martin

Happy New Year!

I hope last month was everything you wanted it to be, and you are looking forward to  the year ahead.

I tend to avoid talking about resolutions in January, let’s face it, we make them and break them year after year; and if you keep on doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep on getting what you always got. It is a good time though to think about out with the old and in with the new. As the festive season begins to fade away into our memory bank, and we get used to writing ’25 instead of ’24, it’s a natural time to reflect on many things, including perhaps our relationships. While the past few weeks may have brought joy and togetherness, it can also highlight areas where connections may need tending or even letting go.

As humans, we are inherently social creatures. Strong, supportive relationships are essential for our mental and emotional well-being, it’s something I stress frequently in this column. They provide us with a sense of belonging, purpose, and love. When we feel connected to others, we’re more likely to experience positive emotions, cope with stress, and thrive; it’s the way we have evolved.

As we embrace the new year, it can be a good time to nurture those relationships that we value. Take the time to reach out to loved ones, express gratitude, and simply listen. Small gestures, like a phone call, a handwritten letter, or a thoughtful gift, can go a long way in strengthening bonds.

Sometimes, as much as we may wish it were different, relationships can become strained or toxic. As people, we change over time, and whilst it can be painful to let go, it’s important to recognise when a connection is no longer serving our best interests. A sign of emotional maturity is the ability for form, maintain and where necessary, to end relationships.

The new year often brings new opportunities for connection. Whether it’s a chance encounter with a friendly neighbour, a meaningful conversation with a colleague, or a deeper bond with a family member, these connections can enrich our lives. Be open to new friendships and relationships and remember that it’s never too late to make new friends. In fact, what better time than a new year to think about trying something new and making new connections?

January is also a funny old month that seems to drag on for many people. The 20th of January 2025 is often dubbed “Blue Monday,” a day supposedly coined by a travel company in 2005 to promote holiday bookings. While the validity of this specific date being the most depressing day of the year is debatable, it does serve as a reminder that many people experience a dip in mood during the winter months, especially January.

The festive period, for all it can be pleasurable, can also be emotionally and financially draining. The pressure to “enjoy” can leave many of us feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. Add to this the post-Christmas let-down, the cold, dark evenings, and the financial strain, (with the first pay day of the year still a distant glimmer), and it’s no wonder that many people feel a sense of gloom descending.

But here’s the good news: “Blue Monday” doesn’t have to be a foregone conclusion. What if we reframed this day? Instead of dreading “Blue Monday,” let’s reclaim it! Let’s use it as a catalyst for positive change, a day to prioritise our well-being and set intentions for the year ahead.

One of the core principles of the type of solution-focused therapy I practice, is to focus on what’s working, not what’s wrong. Instead of dwelling on negative thoughts (“I’m always tired,” “I’m never going to be happy”), try to identify even small moments of happiness or achievement. Did you manage to get out for a walk? Did you have a pleasant conversation with a friend? Did you complete a task you were dreading?

When we’re feeling a bit overwhelmed or burdened, it’s easy to get caught up in a cycle of negative thinking. We often jump to conclusions, assuming the worst-case scenario. For example, if a friend doesn’t respond to a message immediately, we might assume they’re ignoring us. But what if they’re simply busy?

So, if you want to avoid the January blues, but find yourself constantly veering towards the negative, try this little technique.

• Identify the thought: What is the negative thought that’s bothering you?
• Evidence for and against: What evidence supports this thought? What evidence contradicts it?
• Alternative explanations: Are there any other possible explanations for this situation?
• Impact of the thought: How does this thought make you feel? What impact does it have on your behaviour?

By questioning our thoughts, we can begin to break free from negative thought patterns and start to build a more positive outlook as we think about the rest of the month.

My main aim in writing these newsletters, is to help stop the stigma when it comes to having conversations about our mental health and well-being. If there is a particular topic you’d like me to write about then please get in touch. Feel free to send me an email with SAHIR HOUSE in the subject line to solutions@martinfurber.com

If you would like to know more about the private treatments I offer then please check out my website  https://www.martinfurber.com

Or find me on social media

LinkedIn:   https://www.linkedin.com/in/martin-furber/

Facebook: Martin Furber Therapist

How’s your December going so far? Mine has been hectic, so please excuse me for being a few days late with this month’s newsletter.

Of course, we all know that the 1^st December is a special date in our diaries, but it looks like December has got of to a flying start at Sahir House with the Santa Dash for Sahir on World AIDS Day, which combined with the Snatch Game raised a combined total of £6,883! A massive well done to everyone involved.

December can be a reflective time for many of us, a time to look back over the last year at the highs and the lows. It can also be a good to time to become a little bit more self-aware.

Sometimes we might hear the use of the words ‘self-aware’ to describe someone in a negative way. We might say it about a person who is aware of the fact they are talented or goodlooking, and perhaps a little conceited.

Self-awareness also has a more positive meaning and can be a valuable attribute. It’s a really important topic, and one that can have a big impact on your mental health and wellbeing. Self-awareness is the ability to understand your own thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. It’s about being able to see yourself clearly, both the good and the bad. When you’re self-aware, you’re better able to manage your emotions, make healthy choices, and build strong relationships.

There are many different ways to become more self-aware. One way is to simply pay attention to your thoughts and feelings throughout the day. Notice what triggers your emotions, and how you react to different situations.

Self-awareness is the foundation for personal growth and development. When we are self-aware, we can:

• Make better decisions: We can weigh our options and choose the path that aligns with our values and goals.
• Improve our relationships: We can communicate more effectively and understand the needs of others.
• Manage our emotions: We can recognise our triggers and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
• Increase our self-esteem: We can appreciate our strengths and work on our weaknesses.
• Live a more fulfilling life: We can pursue our passions and live in alignment with our true selves.

One of the key aspects of self-awareness is the ability to recognise our emotions. Emotions are a natural part of the human experience, and they can be both positive and negative. When we can identify our emotions, we can better understand and manage them.

To do this properly, we need to develop a better understanding of our triggers. Triggers are situations or events that can cause us to feel strong emotions. For example, you might be the type of person that feels incredibly angry if you are kept waiting by someone, or if someone doesn’t respond to your texts. Maybe you are the type of person who will react emotionally in a professional situation, and then have second thoughts about it afterwards, perhaps regretting something you have said.

Understanding our triggers can help us to avoid them, or the situations which may lead to them. We can also try to develop other ways of coping and reacting, once we are aware of them. It can also be helpful if we can become aware of what our own strengths and weaknesses are. Knowing our strengths can help us build on them, while recognising our weaknesses can help us improve them.

Self-reflection is a powerful tool for personal growth. It allows you to examine your thoughts, feelings, and actions objectively, leading to valuable insights and positive change.

A great way to begin the process is to draw up a list of personal strengths and weaknesses. It’s a simple enough idea, but not something many of us do. Make yourself a cuppa, set 10 minutes aside and give it a go. It might be your first step to becoming more self-aware and becoming a better version of yourself.

Remember, self-awareness is not about perfection; it’s about progress. Be patient with yourself, celebrate your successes, and embrace the journey of self-discovery. By taking the time to understand yourself, you’ll unlock your potential and live a more fulfilling life.

My final thoughts for this month. When it comes to getting in the moment and being mindful, many people say to me they simply don’t have time. My response is always the same, if you don’t have half an hour to yourself for some self-care, then you need an hour! On that note it is time for one last push before my Christmas break.

Take good care of yourselves and have a great Christmas. I’ll be back in 2025.

Martin Furber is a therapist qualified in various modalities and an Instructor Member of Mental Health First Aid England. If you would like me to cover any other subjects to do with mental health and well-being please get in touch, I’d love to hear from you. Please feel free to send me an email with SAHIR HOUSE in the subject line to solutions@martinfurber.com

If you would like to know more about the private treatments I offer then please check out my website  https://www.martinfurber.com

Or find me on social media

LinkedIn:   https://www.linkedin.com/in/martin-furber/

Facebook: Martin Furber Therapist

A Challenging Year for Our Service Users

As we approach the end of 2024, it’s important to reflect on the immense challenges faced by our service users living with, and affected by, HIV this year. The past twelve months have brought significant hurdles, underscoring the critical need for organisations like Sahir to step in and provide much-needed support.

Financial Hardship Hits Hard

The cost-of-living crisis has deeply impacted the lives of many. Rising expenses for basic necessities have strained household budgets to their limits. The withdrawal of the Winter Warm Fund was particularly devastating, leaving vulnerable individuals and families without a crucial lifeline during the coldest months. This, coupled with escalating rent prices and an alarming rise in no-fault evictions, has pushed many to the brink of financial hardship.

For many of our service users, these challenges have created a perfect storm of insecurity and anxiety. Facing such pressures without adequate resources can feel insurmountable. That’s where Sahir has stepped in to make a difference.

How Sahir House Supported Service Users

Throughout the year, we’ve worked tirelessly to support those in need. Our team has facilitated:

• Foodbank Referrals: Ensuring that no one goes hungry during these challenging times.
• Access to Benefits: Assisting service users in navigating the often-complex benefits system to ensure they receive their rightful entitlements.
• Referrals to Specialist Organisations: Connecting individuals to organisations equipped to offer tailored assistance, be it for housing, financial advice, or mental health support.
• Financial Support: As the year comes to a close, we have supported our service users with several benefit entitlement appeals that have resulted in them receiving over £10,000.

These efforts have provided a critical safety net for many, demonstrating our commitment to standing alongside our service users in times of need.

Looking Ahead to 2025

As we prepare to welcome 2025, Sahir remains steadfast in its mission to support our community. We know that challenges will continue to arise, but we are ready to adapt and respond to whatever comes our way. Our focus will remain on:

• Addressing emerging issues promptly and effectively.
• Expanding our network of support to better serve those in need.
• Advocating for systemic changes to reduce the burdens faced by vulnerable populations.

To all our service users, please know that you are not alone. Sahir House is here to listen, assist, and fight alongside you for a better tomorrow.

A Call to Action

A lot of Sahir’s support delivery is unfunded, and need your help so that we can help the community. This can be through volunteering, donating, or simply spreading the word about the work we do, every bit helps.

Join our ‘Pound for Sahir’ campaign and set up a monthly donation of £1, as well as signing up to our newsletter to learn about upcoming projects and events, so that we can continue providing this vital support.

Together, we can ensure that 2025, our 40th year, brings not just challenges, but also hope, resilience, and positive change for all.